“- Father Seamus: Tell me. Is celibacy just as difficult for a woman as it is for a man?
- Charlie McManus: I wouldn't know... I must come clean, though, I, I had a man in my bed last night. All night. You see, the way I see it, sex is allowed.”
Tom Hickey - Father Seamus
Robbie Coltrane - Charlie McManus

“Susan, when I married you the first time I only did it to get in your pants. Now I'm doing it because I want to spend the rest of my life getting into your pants.”
Garry Shandling - Harold Anderson

“- Prissy The Elephant: They've gone and made him... oh dear, I just can't say it... made him a clown.
- The Elephant Matriarch: Oh, the shame of it. Let us take the solemn vow. From now on, he is no longer an elephant.”

Sarah Selby - Prissy The Elephant
Verna Felton - The Elephant Matriarch

“You got to tell her. Seriously. You can pass off two dates without a kiss as old fashioned, you go three and you're a homo.”

Paulo Costanzo - Ryan

“- Mother Superior: There are 3 vows every nun must accept: The vow of poverty. The vow of obedience.
- Deloris: Mm-Hmm.
- Mother Superior: And the vow of chastity.
- Deloris: I am outta here with that.”
Maggie Smith - Mother Superior
Whoopi Goldberg - Deloris