“- Lindsay: What 'cha doing?
- Andy: Writing in my gournal. I write my thoughts in it every day.
- Lindsay: Oh, you mean a journal?
- Andy: Yeah, whatever. I guess I'm not all smart like you. ”
Elizabeth Banks - Lindsay
Paul Rudd - Andy

“- Sheldon Flender: I have never had a play produced. That's right. And I've written one play a year for the past twenty years.
- David Shayne: Yes, but that's because you're a genius. And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent. Means you're a genius.”
Rob Reiner - Sheldon Flender
John Cusack - David Shayne

“I can't finish the novel, I don't know whether he's good or bad.”

Sammi Cheng - Mary

“There was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn't just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting. And I believe that time can come again!”
Luke Wilson - Joe Bauers

“- Young Joan: A writer has to write.
- Elaine Mozell: A writer has to be read, honey.”
Annie Starke - Young Joan
Elizabeth McGovern - Elaine Mozell