Peter Sellers quotes
“Women are more difficult to handle than men. It's their minds.”
“- Sir Charles Lytton: He's out of ammunition.
- Insp. Jacques Clouseau: He's out of his mind, that's what he's out of.”
“[the President calls the Soviet Premier]
Hello?... Uh... Hello D- uh hello Dmitri? Listen uh uh I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? … Oh-ho, that's much better... yeah... huh... yes... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri... Clear and plain and coming through fine... I'm coming through fine, too, eh?......” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Dr. Zempf: Has anybody instructed Lolita in the facts of life?
- Humbert Humbert: The facts?
- Dr. Zempf: The facts of life. You see, Lolita is a sweet, little child, but the onset of maturity seems to be giving her a certain amount of trouble.
- Humbert Humbert: I really don't think that this is a fit topic.
- Dr. Zempf: Well, Dr. Humbert, to...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Thank Heaven for the little girls. They keep getting smaller every day.”
“I am not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill transvestite!”
“You got me right in the pantaloons, partner.”
“- Simone Legree: That's so obvious, he's bound to think it's a trap...
- Philippe Douvier: Yes, or it's so obvious that he's bound to think it can't be a trap.
- Cato Fong: It's so obvious, it's bound to be a trap.
- Clouseau: That is why you'll never be a great detective, Cato. It's so obvious that it could not possibly be a trap.”
“- Hrundi V. Bakshi: What is this game you call to get the brightly colored balls in the hole?
- Wyoming Bill Kelso: Pool.
- Hrundi V. Bakshi: Poo?”
“- C. S. Divot: Who do you think you are?
- Hrundi V. Bakshi: In India, we don't think who we are. We know who we are.”
“- Simone Legree: Now why do you suppose he wanted to have me killed?
- Clouseau: Elementary. He wanted you dead.”
“There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed.”
“- Col. 'Bat' Guano: You wanna know what I think?
- Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Yes!
- Col. 'Bat' Guano: I think you're some kind of deviated pervert. I think General Ripper found out about your perversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of perverts. Now move!”
“- Clouseau: Who were those two men have tried to kill you last night?
- Simone Legree: Killers.”
“- Hrundi V. Bakshi: Do you speak Hindustani?
- Michelle Monet: No.
- Hrundi V. Bakshi: Well, you are not missing anything.”
“- Michelle Monet: Do you speak French?
- Hrundi V. Bakshi: Well, just enough to get myself into trouble.”
“Douvier killed a wandering transvestite just to impress his godfather?”