Peter Sellers quotes
“[the President calls the Soviet Premier]
Hello?... Uh... Hello D- uh hello Dmitri? Listen uh uh I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? … Oh-ho, that's much better... yeah... huh... yes... Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri... Clear and plain and coming through fine... I'm coming through fine, too, eh?......” (continue)(continue reading)
“Women are more difficult to handle than men. It's their minds.”
“In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again.”
“- Sir Charles Lytton: He's out of ammunition.
- Insp. Jacques Clouseau: He's out of his mind, that's what he's out of.”
“Sir! I have a plan! [standing up from his wheelchair] Mein Führer! I can walk!”
“Each theft is completely different and unique, classic in its conception.”
“- Inspector Jacques Clouseau: At times like this, I wish I was but a simple peasant.
- Simone Clouseau: It's times like this that make me realize how lucky I really am.”
“- Dr. Zempf: Has anybody instructed Lolita in the facts of life?
- Humbert Humbert: The facts?
- Dr. Zempf: The facts of life. You see, Lolita is a sweet, little child, but the onset of maturity seems to be giving her a certain amount of trouble.
- Humbert Humbert: I really don't think that this is a fit topic.
- Dr. Zempf: Well, Dr. Humbert, to...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Thank Heaven for the little girls. They keep getting smaller every day.”
“I am not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill transvestite!”
“You got me right in the pantaloons, partner.”
“- Simone Legree: That's so obvious, he's bound to think it's a trap...
- Philippe Douvier: Yes, or it's so obvious that he's bound to think it can't be a trap.
- Cato Fong: It's so obvious, it's bound to be a trap.
- Clouseau: That is why you'll never be a great detective, Cato. It's so obvious that it could not possibly be a trap.”
“- Hrundi V. Bakshi: What is this game you call to get the brightly colored balls in the hole?
- Wyoming Bill Kelso: Pool.
- Hrundi V. Bakshi: Poo?”
“- C. S. Divot: Who do you think you are?
- Hrundi V. Bakshi: In India, we don't think who we are. We know who we are.”
“- Simone Legree: Now why do you suppose he wanted to have me killed?
- Clouseau: Elementary. He wanted you dead.”
“There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed.”
“- Col. 'Bat' Guano: You wanna know what I think?
- Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Yes!
- Col. 'Bat' Guano: I think you're some kind of deviated pervert. I think General Ripper found out about your perversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of perverts. Now move!”
“- Clouseau: Who were those two men have tried to kill you last night?
- Simone Legree: Killers.”
“- Hrundi V. Bakshi: Do you speak Hindustani?
- Michelle Monet: No.
- Hrundi V. Bakshi: Well, you are not missing anything.”