“- Mollie: I think you should try some of that Nobel Prize winner sperm.
- Rona: Get outta here. Nobel Prize winners ejaculating in jars?
- Mollie: Well, give it a shot. Don't you want a smart baby?
- Rona: That's all I need. A baby telling me what an idiot I am. Like I don't get enough of that at work?”
Kirstie Alley - Mollie
Twink Caplan - Rona

“My wife and I wanted a child, but she couldn't get pregnant. Neither could I.”
George Carlin - Architect

“- Nanny: And speaking of children...
- Anita: Roger, darling, l've got the most wonderful news.”
Joan Plowright - Nanny

“- Anna Valerious: What are these things?
- Van Helsing: I think they're Dracula's children.
- Anna Valerious: His children?
- Van Helsing: A man, with three gorgeous women, for four hundred years?”
Kate Beckinsale - Anna Valerious
Hugh Jackman - Abraham Van Helsing

“- Christof: In competition with five other unwanted pregnancies, the casting of a show determined by an airdate, Truman was the one who arrived on cue.
- Mike Michaelson: Incidentally, I believe Truman is the first child to have been legally adopted by a corporation?
- Christof: That's correct.”

Ed Harris - Christof
Harry Shearer - Mike Michaelson