I went to beautician's school where everybody graduated except me, but I got a job as a shampoo boy at Marisa's House of Hair in Bensonhurst. The hours suck; the pay sucks; I'm surrounded by "funny guys", but the tips are great. Thank you, God!
Kevin Dillon - Rooney

“- Jerky Boy: Mr. Valentine, you said you're a fireman.
- Larry Valentine: Yes, that is correct.
- Jerky Boy: Do you have two jobs? Because my dad said that you're also a butt pirate.”
Connor Wiles - Jerky Boy
Kevin James - Larrie Valentine

“Oh look at that, a fire, well I hope it's not a bad one - because the faggot who's been saving your sorry asses is now, thanks to you, working on another shift.”

Kevin James - Larrie Valentine

“Only two things come outta Oklahoma, steers and queers. Which one are you boy? I don't see no horns!”
Louis Gossett Jr. - Sgt. Emil Foley

“The truth is I am a driver. Nothing more. This is my destiny. I will never know what it's like to be an american.”
Yvan Attal - George