“- Samuel Faulkner: Are you sure?
- Rebecca Taylor: I'm ten days late.
- Samuel Faulkner: And there's no way you could have had it and just not noticed?”
Hugh Grant - Samuel Faulkner
Julianne Moore - Rebecca Taylor

“Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, ok, promise?”
Dwayne Hill - Coach Carr

“- New Mother: Is it a boy or a girl?
- Obstretrician: Now I think it's a bit early to start imposing roles on it, don't you?”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Obstretrician

“- 'Goody' Nelson: How do worms copulate?
- Jackie Willow: They don't, Sergeant-Major; they use asexual reproduction.
- 'Goody' Nelson: Interesting concept! Tell me, Willow - any idea who first came up with that notion: reproducing without sex?
- Jackie Willow: Your wife, Sergeant-Major?”
James Earl Jones - Goody' Nelson
D.B. Sweeney - Jackie Willow

“- Meg: I've been taking my temperature and I know I'm ovulating right now. The ground is ready, I just need someone to plant the seed.
- Sarah: Yeah, but who's going to be the lucky farmer?”
Mary Kay Place - Meg
Glenn Close - Sarah