“- Lt. Serdman: I'd say you picked the wrong store to rob this time, pal.
- Franklin Laszlo: Excuse me, Lieutenant but I am not robbing this store.
- Lt. Serdman: I suppose that's a bag of donuts you got there right?
- Franklin Laszlo: They don't even serve donuts here, you should know that, you're a cop.”
Tom Arnold - Franklin Laszlo

“- State Trooper: Pullover!
- Harry Dunne: No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing.”

Harland Williams - State Trooper
Jeff Daniels - Harry Dunne

“- Highway Patrolman: Get out of there! It's against the law to ride in the trunk in this state. I don't suppose you've got any I.D., either?
- Marlene: Idee? Idee 'bout what?”

Tim Thomerson - Highway Patrolman
Alexa Kenin - Marlene

“- Kay Bentley: She's an old schoolmate of mine from grammar school.
- Michael Shayne: I haven't seen any old girls.
- Kay Bentley: She's not old - about my age.
- Michael Shayne: And still going to grammar school? She's a little mentally round-shouldered!”
Lynn Bari - Kay Bentley
Lloyd Nolan - Michael Shayne

“- Gail Richards: Good night.
- Lillian - the Housekeeper: I hope you rest in peace.
- Gail Richards: Thank you. [turns to Ann] Isn't that what they write on tombstones?”
Joan Blondell - Gail Richards
Rafaela Ottiano - Lillian - the Housekeeper