“- Lloyd Christmas: I'll bet you twenty bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day.
- Harry Dunne: You're on.”
“Dumb & Dumber” quotes(1994)
Plot – Lloyd Christmas, a limo driver, is the synthesis of human stupidity. Harry Dunne is his loony friend and roommate. Lloyd pines for the ideal woman when one day he drives Mary Swanson to the airport, a beautiful girl of high society, and is thunderstruck by her. Right when she is about to leave forever, Lloyd realizes she has forgotten her briefcase at the terminal. It is an unexpected opportunity. The dope retrieves the briefcase and as he tries to return it, disasters follow.
All actors – Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, Lauren Holly, Mike Starr, Karen Duffy, Charles Rocket, Victoria Rowell, Joe Baker, Hank Brandt, Teri Garr, Brady Bluhm, Cam Neely, Felton Perry, Brad Lockerman, Rob Moran, Kathryn Frick, Zen Gesner, Lawrence Kopp, Clint Allen, Connie Sawyer, Lin Shaye, Mike Watkis, Harland Williams, Diane Kinerk, Lisa Stothard, Sean Gildea, Charles Rahi Chun, Helen Boll, Fred Stoller, Hillary Matthews, Karen Ingram, Jesse Borja, Vene L. Arcoraci, Anna Anka, Samantha Carpel, Elaine Wood, Bruce Bowns, Denise Vienne, Nancy Farrelly, Catalina Izasa, Samatha Pearson, Ken Duvall, Cecile Krevoy, George Bedard, Bill Beauchene, Gary Sivertsen, John Stroehman, Terry Mullany, Brad Blank, Mark Miosky, Mike Cavallo, Tom Leasca, Kevin Sheehan, Kenny Griswold, Brian Mone, Brad Norton, John Dale, Mike Burke, Kevin Constantine, Chris Spain, Paul Pelletier, Mark Levine, Billy Smith, Mark Charpentier, James 'Sporty' Ahern, Jim Blake, Traci Adell, Anita Rice, Pam Nielson, Nancy Barker, Brad Louder, Doug Caputo, James Horrocks, Rolf Sigurd Brekke, Clem Franek, , Jackie Bernstein, Marty Fresca, Kirsten Maryott, Bryan Moss, Craig Patterson, Josh Shipley, Valentina, John Yostshow all
“Dumb & Dumber” Quotes 18 quotes
- Lloyd Christmas: My friend Harry and I are saving up to open our own pet store.
- Mary Swanson: That's nice.
- Lloyd Christmas: I got worms!
- Mary Swanson: I beg your pardon?
- Lloyd Christmas: That's what we're gonna call it. "I Got Worms"! We're gonna specialize in selling worm farms. You know, like ant farms.
“- Harry Dunne: Yeah, I lost my job too.
- Lloyd Christmas: Man, You are one pathetic loser. No offense.
- Harry Dunne: No, none taken.”
“She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.”
“I'd like to eat her liver with some fava beans and a nice bottle of Chianti.”
“- Harry Dunne: I hate when women do that. She wanted to see you again! And now no? Now... wait a minute! Wait! She must have meant ten o' clock at night!
- Lloyd Christmas: Do you think?
- Harry Dunne: Why would she have you meet her in a bar at ten in the morning?
- Lloyd Christmas: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.”
“- Lloyd Christmas: Some little filly break your heart?
- Harry Dunne: No, it was a girl.”
“- Lloyd Christmas: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.
- Harry Dunne: That's a special feeling, Lloyd.”
“- Harry Dunne: One time, we successfully mated a bulldog with a Shih-Tzu.
- Mary Swanson: Really? That's weird.
- Harry Dunne: Yeah, we called it a Bullshit.”
“- Lloyd Christmas: I feel like a schoolboy again. A schoolboy who desperately wants to make sweet, sweet love to you.
- Mary Swanson: I thought I heard you talking to someone.
- Lloyd Christmas: [now extremely nervous] Mary... I... I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.”
“You don't kill people you don't know. That's a rule.”
“- Harry Dunne: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
- Lloyd Christmas: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man.”
“- Harry Dunne: What's in the briefcase?
- Lloyd Christmas: Man, I would have to be a real lowlife to go rooting around in someone else's private property.
- Harry Dunne: Is it locked?
- Lloyd Christmas: Yeah. Really well.”
“I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I'll be right back! Don't you go dying on me!”