“- Ryan Edward Turner: I'd kill myself right now, but I'd probably end up in Hell, and that would be redundant.
- Barry Sherman: Well, at least you'd be among friends.”
Charlie Sheen - Ryan Edward Turner
Jon Lovitz - Barry Sherman

“- Katsumoto: I will die by the sword. My own, or my enemy's.
- Nathan Algren: Then let it be your enemy's.”
Ken Watanabe - Katsumoto
Tom Cruise - Nathan Algren

“You know something? When you kill yourself, it's a homicide, so they do an autopsy. They'll get a knife. They start here. They're gonna split her open. Up here they use shears. Shears, for Christ's sake!”

Paul Newman - Gallagher

“Your troubles will cease and fortune will smile upon you.”
Ryan Gosling - Henry Letham

“- Joshua Foss: Enough bombs have been planted in this building to stop all the clocks in the hemisphere.
- Vice President: You'll die with us.
- Joshua Foss: Could be.
- Mrs. Baldwin: I don't think anyone with manicured fingernails wearing a ten-thousand-dollar wristwatch is planning on blowing himself up.”
Powers Boothe - Joshua Foss
Raymond J. Barry - Vice President
Diane Robin - Mrs. Baldwin