“- Hattie Anderson: Do you really want to do this?
- Bill Firpo: Do what?
- Hattie Anderson: You know rob the bank.
- Dave Firpo: Absolutely! We have thought this over and we've made a decision!
- Hattie Anderson: But on Christmas Eve, it just doesn't seem right. You're going to ruin the winter fest.”
Angela Paton - Hattie Anderson
Nicolas Cage - Bill Firpo
Jon Lovitz - Dave Firpo

“There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here, because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try to talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can't.”

Morgan Freeman - Ellis Boyd 'Red' Redding

“- Agnes Smith: Rose, what did you get me for Christmas?
- Rose Smith: You'll find out tomorrow.
- Agnes Smith: I hope it's a hunting knife!”
Joan Carroll - Agnes Smith
Lucille Bremer - Rose Smith

“Christmas isn't about complaining over what we don't have. We should be thankful for what we do have.”
Lee Evans - Lars Smuntz

“Remind me, please, to put him on my Christmas list, if I could figure out how to make a letter bomb.”
Jason Biggs - Jerry Falk