“We interrupt this program to give you an important news bulletin: A suspect in the Happy Times All-GirlsGlee Club slaying has fled the scene and managed to elude the police. He is armed and dangerous, and has been spotted in the West Side area, armed with a meat cleaver in one hand and his genitals in the other.”

- Johnny Murata: Kenner, just in case we get killed, I wanted to tell you, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man.
- Chris Kenner: Thanks. I don't know what to say.
- Johnny Murata: How about "Don't get killed"?
Brandon Lee - Johnny Murata
Dolph Lundgren - Sgt. Chris Kenner

“I had these dreams about some murderer following me through the woods and it's coming true. I'm sorry but we're all going to die. Like that murderer in Chicago, he killed people and put their hearts in refrigerators. He's gonna kill us, their gonna show our pictures of us naked with our hearts torn out in a current affair.”
Lisa Marie Newmyer - Heather

“I didn't like Prebble when he was alive. But now that he's been murdered, that always makes a man so romantic.”
Jeff Donnell - Sally Ellis

“Mommy! Don't let me drown! Mommy!”
Tim Mirkovich - Young Jason Voorhees