“My parents fucked once in their lives. That's why we're twins, they didn't want to make it twice.”
Eva Green - Isabelle

“- Samantha Swoboda: We better crash at your guys' place for a while in case they come after us.
- Miles Kitchen: Oh sure. 'Hi Mom, Dad. This fourteen-year-old girl, she's just sleeping over tonight. Don't mind me, I'll be upstairs, in my room, entering puberty!'. Are you nuts?”
Jessica Alba - Samantha Swaboda
Kenneth A. Brown - Miles Kitchen

“- Sarah: Tomorrow my parents are going to know I'm not a virgin anymore!
- Tom: You haven't been a virgin since college.
- Sarah: Yeah, but tomorrow they're going to know for sure.”

Brittany Murphy - Sarah
Ashton Kutcher - Tom

“I think Mommy doesn't want to make love to Daddy anymore. I think he tries to force her.”
Diane Franklin - Patricia Montelli

“- Vic: Well, I can think of a problem that's a good deal more important and you, as a parent, are ignoring it completely.
- Earl Keese: What?
- Vic: What is Elaine doing about sex? Is she getting probed?”
Dan Aykroyd - Vic
John Belushi - Earl Keese