There was the one about this doctor, you see? He was examining a girl's knee and he says, "What's a joint like this doing on a pretty girl like you?".
Dean Martin - Dino

“- Richard Thorn: Damien was not affected by the gas.
- Ann Thorn: We can be thankful for that.
- Richard Thorn: Why all the other boys and not Damien?
- Ann Thorn: I don't understand. What did the doctor say?
- Richard Thorn: The tissue tests he made indicate that Damien has a different cell structure.
- Ann Thorn: Different?”
William M. Holden - Richard Thorn
Lee Grant - Ann Thorn

“- Egbert Sousé: Hello, Doc. How are ya? How's business?
- Dr. Stall: Fair, fair. I don't suppose we'll ever get another whooping cough epidemic again.”
W.C. Fields - Egbert Sousé
Harlan Briggs - Dr. Stall

“- Peter Kirk: Are there many lady doctors?
- Helen Hunt: A few.
- Peter Kirk: As beautiful as you?
- Helen Hunt: No doubt.
- Peter Kirk: The time I've wasted being well.”
Henry Fonda - Peter Kirk
Barbara Stanwyck - Helen Hunt

“- Dr. Einstein: I cannot operate without a drink!
- Jonathan Brewster: Pull yourself together, doctor!
- Dr. Einstein: I cannot pull myself together without a drink!”
Peter Lorre - Dr. Einstein
Raymond Massey - Jonathan Brewster