John Turturro quotes
“- Chuck: I still remember the war.
- Dave Buznik: Oh, yeah?
- Chuck: Yeah, I remember waking up to the sound of bombs dropping and children screaming.
- Dave Buznik: Oh, you were in Vietnam?
- Chuck: No... Grenada.
- Dave Buznik: Didn't that, like, last only 12 hours?”
“You gold-teeth-gold-chain-wearin', fried-chicken-and-biscuit-eatin', monkey, ape, baboon, big thigh, fast-runnin', high-jumpin', spear-chuckin', 360-degree-basketball-dunkin' titsun spade Moulan Yan. Take your fuckin' pizza-pizza and go the fuck back to Africa.”
“- Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes click.
- The Dude: Jesus.
- Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.”
“Don't even look at those guys unless you can kill 'em.”
“- Son of Sam: How did you get in here? Leave me alone! What do you want?
- Harvey the Black Dog: I want you to go out and kill. Kill.
- Son of Sam: No!
- Harvey the Black Dog: Kill! Kill!!
- Son of Sam: I will kill. I will... I'll do anything you say. I'll do anything you say! Yes, master! I will kill! I will kill!!”
“I don't like to discuss works in progress. If I let the words tumble out prematurely, it changes it, and I may never get it back.”
“- Pete Hogwallop: Ain't nobody gonna pick up three filthy, unshaved hitch-hikers, and one of them a know-it-all that can't keep his trap shut.
- Everett: Pete, the personal rancor reflected in that remark I don't intend to dignify with comment. But I would like to address your general attitude of hopeless negativism.”
“As Pushkin's doomed duelist said: let's start if you're willing.”
“- Volare: Do you realize what I was doing at the age of seven?
- Roland T. Flakfizer: I can imagine and you must be thankful you didn't go blind.
- Volare: I was dancing professionally.
- Roland T. Flakfizer: Whatever you call it. Flogging the carrot, polishing the cuestick, choking the chicken, clearing the snorkel...”
“- Rocco Melonchek: We'll have to perform a full rectum-ology.
- Roland T. Flakfizer: Fondue, an epidemic! Drop those pants... Not you, the patient.
- Doctor: I thought you were cardiologists...
- Rocco Melonchek: Uh, well, they're all connected, we enter the rectum and head north.
- Roland T. Flakfizer: Why do you think we have such long...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Behind every great man there is a woman, and thank heaven I have Lillian Oglethorpe because, quite frankly, I enjoy the shade.”
“- Mikaela Banes: You live with your momma?
- Simmons: No, my momma lives with me. There's a big difference.”
Please, call me what everyone else calls me: "Your Royal Sex Machine".
“That box is the biggest thing since Gutenberg invented the printing press, and I'm the biggest thing on it.”
“- Dr. Buddy Rydell: Dave assaulted a female flight attendant in mid-air.
- Gina: I bet you beat her good.
- Dave Buznik: I didn't beat anybody. I touched a woman...
- Chuck: Liar, bullshitter, you're a woman beater! And you can't admit it, because you're a deluded piece of garbage!
- Dave Buznik: I don't know about all that but......” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Dr. Bill Perlman: You think I'm a fraud.
- Max Klein: It's been 3 months since the crash, and I haven't thought of you at all.”
“I spent my whole adult life combing the planet for aliens, and you're carrying around one in your purse like a little Chihuahua.”