Dean Martin quotes
“I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.”
“- Morris Fenderbaum: I've been called a lot of things but I had never been called a commie.
- Jamie Blake: I'm not even a democrat!”
“You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
“- Zelda Spooner: I suppose you have never heard of the Beatles either.
- Dino: Oh sure. And I can sing better than all three of them.
- Zelda Spooner: There are four of them!
- Dino: Oh, haven't you heard? One of them got his hair caught in his guitar and was electrocuted.
- Zelda Spooner: You can make jokes about them but they're young and...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Now look lady, you may have heard a lot of singers but you ain't heard nothin' sung till you've heard me sung it.”
There was the one about this doctor, you see? He was examining a girl's knee and he says, "What's a joint like this doing on a pretty girl like you?".
“If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.”
“- Jamie Blake: We're gonna die. We're gonna die, we're gonna die. What do you think they're gonna do to us?
- Morris Fenderbaum: I don't know what they're gonna do to you, but since Mr. T ain't here, I'll be too busy licking their boots to see.”
- Fenderbaum: Why did he call me “Shorty”?
- Jamie Blake: 'Cause you're small. Small. S - M - all.