“Major League” quotes

Movie Major League
Title Major League
Year 1989
Director David S. Ward
Genre Comedy, Sport
Plot – The Cleveland's baseball team of the "Indians" is about to begin a new seaon but, after the death of the owner, it is threatened by a mortal danger. In fact, the widow Rachel Phelps just wants the team to lose so the team can be transferred to Miami. For this reason, the "shortlist" entrusted to Coach Lou is composed by former players and young people with little experience. After a disastrous start, however, the "Indians" become aware of the woman's intentions and they do all their best to win the championship.
All actors – Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Corbin Bernsen, Margaret Whitton, James Gammon, Rene Russo, Wesley Snipes, Charles Cyphers, Chelcie Ross, Dennis Haysbert, Andy Romano, Bob Uecker
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  • “The local press seems to think that we'd save everyone the time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves. Me, I'm for wasting sportswriters' time.”

    James Gammon - Lou Brown
  • “- Jake Taylor: That's my wife...
    - Willie Mays Hayes: Does she know that?
    - Jake Taylor: Well, she would've been if I hadn't screwed it up... Who's that guy she's with?
    - Willie Mays Hayes: I don't know. He's not wearing a nametag.”

    Tom Berenger - Jake Taylor
    Wesley Snipes - Willie Mays Hayes
    [Tag:name, wife]
  • “- Willie Mays Hayes: What the hell league you been playing in?
    - Rick Vaughn: California Penal...
    - Willie Mays Hayes: Never heard of it. How'd you end up playing there?
    - Rick Vaughn: Stole a car.”

    Wesley Snipes - Willie Mays Hayes
    Charlie Sheen - Rick Vaughn
    [Tag:baseball, prison]
  • “- Pedro Cerrano: Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.
    - Eddie Harris: You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff.
    - Roger Dorn:...” (continue)
    (continue reading)

    Dennis Haysbert - Pedro Cerrano
    Chelcie Ross - Eddie Harris
    Corbin Bernsen - Roger Dorn
  • “- Jake Taylor: I'll let you know if I land a good job, I'm sure you're real concerned about it.
    - Tom: Well, I just wanted Lynn to know what she would have had ahead of her.
    - Tom: Stay away from her.
    - Jake Taylor: Suck my dick!”

    Tom Berenger - Jake Taylor
    Richard Pickren - Tom
    [Tag:concern, job, women]
  • “- Lou Brown: Who is that?
    - Charlie Donovan: Must be Cerrano. Defected from Cuba, wanted religious freedom.
    - Lou Brown: What's his religion?
    - Charlie Donovan: Voodoo.”

    James Gammon - Lou Brown
    Charles Cyphers - Charlie Donovan
    [Tag:freedom, religion]
  • “- Rachel Phelps: The fact is we lost our two best players to free agency. We haven't won a pennant in over thirty-five years, we haven't placed higher than fourth in the last fifteen. Obviously it's time for some changes.
    - Board Member: This guy here is dead!
    - Rachel Phelps: Cross him off, then!”

    Margaret Whitton - Rachel Phelps
  • “In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.”

    Bob Uecker - Harry Doyle
  • I'm pissed off now, Jobu. Look, I go to you. I stick up for you. You no help me now. I say "Fuck you Jobu", I do it myself.

    Dennis Haysbert - Pedro Cerrano
    [Tag:anger, self-help]
  • “I have something I think you all ought to know about. It seems that Mrs. Phelps doesn't think too highly of our worth. She put this team together because she thought we'd be bad enough to finish dead last, knocking attendance down to the point where she could move the team to Miami, and get rid of all of us for better personnel.”

    James Gammon - Lou Brown
  • “Ya know Dorn, I liked you so much better when you were just a ballplayer. If you wanna be an interior decorator now that's none of my business. But some of us still need this team. Now you listen to me! This is my last shot at a winner and for some of the younger guys it could be their only shot. I don't know what happened to you. But if you...” (continue)(continue reading)

    Tom Berenger - Jake Taylor
  • “- Lou Brown: I need a catcher, Jake. Someone who can lead this team on the field. But I want the absolute truth, here, are you one-hundred percent?
    - Jake Taylor: Yeah, would I bullshit you about something like that?
    - Lou Brown: You better, if you wanna make this team.”

    James Gammon - Lou Brown
    Tom Berenger - Jake Taylor
    [Tag:leader, teamwork]
  • “- Janice Bowden: I hear baseball players make awfully good salaries nowadays.
    - Jake Taylor: Well it all depends on how good you are.
    - Janice Bowden: How good are you?
    - Jake Taylor: I make the league minimum.”

    Deborah Wakeham - Janice Bowden
    Tom Berenger - Jake Taylor