“Spies Like Us” quotes

(1985)
Movie Spies Like Us
Title Spies Like Us
Year 1985
Director John Landis
Genre Comedy, Adventure
Plot – Emmett Fitz-Hume is a lazy old-movies nostalgic and an agent for US intelligence. Austin Millbarge is a good technician that the Pentagon has secured for the operation of its underground laboratories. They are both bored by their daily duties and aspire to carry out important missions and that's when generals and politicians think of using the strange couple as bait for a risky espionage mission. After a short period of ludicrous training, they leave for their mission, that is to hunt down a Soviet missile warhead. However, what they will actually be doing is to act as a target for the Russians, while the two "real" secret agents will take on the real mission. The two will obviously overcome every risk and every difficulty, thanks to spectacular stratagems and a light touch, managing to mock both the KGB and the CIA, ending their adventure uninjured with the beautiful Karen Royer, the usual unbeatable Amazon.
All actors – Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Forrest, Donna Dixon, Bruce Davison, Bernie Casey, William Prince, Tom Hatten, Frank Oz, Charles McKeown, James Daughton, Jim Staahl, Vanessa Angel, Svetlana Plotnikova, Bjarne Thomsen, Sergei Rousakov, Garrick Dombrovski, Terry Gilliam, Costa-Gavras, Seva Novgorodtsev, Stephen Hoye, Ray Harryhausen, Mark Stewart, Sean Daniel, Jeff Harding, Heidi Sorenson, Margo Random, Douglas Lambert, Christopher Malcolm, Terrance Conder, Matt Frewer, Tony Cyrus, Gusti Bogok, Derek Meddings, Robert Paynter, Bob Hope, Gurdial Sira, Joel Coen, Sam Raimi, Michael Apted, B.B. King, Larry Cohen, Martin Brest, Ricco Ross, Richard D. Sharp, Stuart Milligan, Sally Anlauf, John Daveikis, Laurence Bilzerian, Richard Kruk, Heather Henson, Erin Folsey, Bob Swaim, Edwin Newman, Nancy Gair
show all
  • “- Bob Hodges: Every minute you don't tell us why you are here, I cut off a finger.
    - Emmett Fitz-Hume: Mine or yours?
    - Bob Hodges: Yours.
    - Emmett Fitz-Hume: Damn!”

    James Daughton - Bob Hodges
    Chevy Chase - Emmett Fitz-Hume
    [Tag:threat]
  • “- Austin Millbarge: Show some balls, man!
    - Emmett Fitz-Hume: I think it's too late to try and impress them.”

    Dan Aykroyd - Austin Millbarge
    Chevy Chase - Emmett Fitz-Hume
    [Tag:courage, fear]
  • “Alright. Stop right there... and I'll bring back the sun. Okay...
    [shows a picture from his wallet]
    This is my sister. You can all have her. I hear she's very good.”

    Chevy Chase - Emmett Fitz-Hume
    [Tag:family, sex]
  • “- Austin Millbarge: I gotta take a leak. You should go too.
    - Emmett Fitz-Hume: What are you my mother? Don't you think I'm capable of determining my own time to go to the bathroom?”

    Dan Aykroyd - Austin Millbarge
    Chevy Chase - Emmett Fitz-Hume
    [Tag:advice]
  • “A weapon unused is a useless weapon.”
    Steve Forrest - General Sline
  • “- Emmett Fitz-Hume: What's she saying?
    - Austin Millbarge: H... hair... hairbrush... headrest...
    - Emmett Fitz-Hume: Jesus, where did you learn your Russian? JCPenney?”

    Chevy Chase - Emmett Fitz-Hume
    Dan Aykroyd - Austin Millbarge
  • “- Mr. Keyes: By your actions, sir, you are risking the future of the human race!
    - General Sline: To guarantee the American way of life, I'm willing to take that risk.”

    William Prince - Mr. Keyes
    Steve Forrest - General Sline
  • “- Emmett Fitz-Hume: Oh. Uh, will you hold my wallet for me while I take the test, please? There's a thousand dollars in there... or maybe there isn't. Know what I mean?
    - Test Monitor: Are you saying I can take this money if I help you pass the test?
    - Emmett Fitz-Hume: What do you think?”

    Chevy Chase - Emmett Fitz-Hume
    Frank Oz - Test Monitor
    [Tag:bribe, money, test]
  • - Bud Schnelker: Why are you here?
    - Emmett Fitz-Hume: Why am I here? Why are you here? Why is anybody here? I think it was Jean-Paul Sartre who once said... how do you spell spell "Sartre"?

    Jim Staahl - Bud Schnelker
    Chevy Chase - Emmett Fitz-Hume
  • “- Austin Millbarge: The Chinese were only using a simple polyphonetically grouped 20-square-digit key transposed in boustrophedonic form with multiple nulls. I broke it with this...
    [holds up a kid's cipher disk]
    - Captain Hefling: A drogan's decoder wheel? They put these into cereal boxes for kids.
    - Austin Millbarge: Yeah, I found it in a box...” (continue)
    (continue reading)

    Dan Aykroyd - Austin Millbarge
    Stephen Hoye - Captain Hefling
    [Tag:children, gift]
Highlights