“He hit his head on the ice. He hit it so hard that his kids will be born dizzy.”

Mike Lange - Play-by-Play Announcer

“- Nick Beam: You shot me!
- Terrance Paul Davidson: I said I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to. The gun just went off. You know I have that same trouble in bed. Well, rarely. Every once in a gray while.”
Tim Robbins - Nick Beam
Martin Lawrence - Terrance Paul Davidson

“- Christina: How are you stuck?
- Andy: I have a piercing [the entire crowd recoils in shock] ...
- San Francisco Policeman: I don't get it, how are they stuck?
- Male bystander: Behind her tonsils ...
- San Francisco Policeman: How do you know that?
[Awkward silence]”

Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters
Frank Grillo - Andy
Rick Evans - San Francisco Policeman #2

“- Mercy: Well maybe I’m lookin’ for some real action.
- Vermin: Well what about me, I got the big one!
- Ajax: I’ll give it to you baby.
- Swan: Let her go!
- Mercy: You gonna jump me?
- Swan: Maybe we ought to put a train on you. You look like you might even like it.
- Mercy: Fuck you!
- Swan: Real tough chick.”
Deborah Van Valkenburgh - Mercy
Terry Michos - Vermin
James Remar - Ajax
Michael Beck - Swan

“- Coach Ken Carter: I end up taking a road trip to the suburbs where I find my drunk-ass point guard on top of Daddy's little princess.
- Worm: Actually, I was on the bottom, coach, she was on the top.”
Samuel L. Jackson - Coach Ken Carter
Antwon Tanner - Worm