“- Charlie Arglist: Whose thumb is this?
- Vic Cavanaugh: Oh yeah, Roy. Good news: Charlie brought your thumb.”

John Cusack - Charlie Arglist
Billy Bob Thornton - Vic Cavanaugh

“Do you know what kind of people like pain? Let's see, there's doctors and lawyers. I even have a judge for a client. But you know, it's not the pain that gets them off. It's the feeling of someone else being in control.”
Jaime Pressly - Violet

“- Employment Manager: Can I be honest? No one's going to offer you an office job. There's too much competition. Why don't you fight? I read somewhere you're a very good fighter.
- Rocky Balboa: Yeah, well, was ya ever punched in the face 500 times a night? It stings after a while, ya know.”
Earl Montgomery - Employment Manager
Sylvester Stallone - Rocky Balboa

“- Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?
- Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?”
Mandy Patinkin - Inigo Montoya
Billy Crystal - Miracle Max

“- Cosmo Brown: Talking pictures, that means I'm out of a job. At last I can start suffering and write that symphony.
- R.F. Simpson: You're not out of job, we're putting you in as head of our new music department.
- Cosmo Brown: Oh, thanks, R.F.! At last I can stop suffering and write that symphony.”
Donald O'Connor - Cosmo Brown
Millard Mitchell - R.F. Simpson