“My brother washes out used condoms. You're not getting no money from him.”
Nick Scotti - Frankie

“- Lady Holiday: Give Stanley a tip, Nicky.
- Nicky Holiday: For complimenting you on your necklace?
- Lady Holiday: No, because it's customary.
- Nicky Holiday: I haven't any change.
- Lady Holiday: Then give him something bigger.
- Nicky Holiday: Bigger? I left my wallet at home.
- Lady Holiday: You left your wallet in college.”

Diana Rigg - Lady Holiday
Charles Grodin - Nicky Holiday

“- Matty Banks: Can I put Cameron back on the list if he promises not to eat?
- George Banks: You know, that's not a bad idea. Who else can we ask not to eat? My parents and your mother.
- Annie Banks: Why don't we just charge people? That way we can make money on the wedding?”
Kieran Culkin - Matty Banks
Steve Martin - George Banks
Kimberly Williams-Paisley - Annie Banks

“- Cole Younger: When this is all over, I'm goin' to write a book; make myself more famous than I already am.
- Frank James: I trust you'll give me a copy.
- Cole Younger: Nope. You gotta pay, Frank; you gotta pay.”
David Carradine - Cole Younger
Stacy Keach - Frank James

And the avarice... the avarice never ends! "I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue". Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this whole Christmas season is... stupid, stupid, stupid!
Jim Carrey - Grinch