“Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision.”
“That jungle is thick. I don't think anybody's even been in there. You know, you should quit now while you're alive.”
“- Lt. General Leland Zevo: Put this place on red alert. They're as good as dead.
- Hagenstern: That's your son, sir.
- Lt. General Leland Zevo: War knows no relatives.”
“- Dink the Clown: I asked her what time it was, she told me it was 7:30.
- Stenchy the Clown: That's the cornerstone of a lasting relationship, what time it is?
- Dink the Clown: Yes, yes. Because, first I asked her what time it is, right? Tomorrow I get to ask her the date, the day after that she's all over me. That's how it works, you play it...” (continue) (continue reading)
“- Old Cajun Man: [In a muffled back water accent] Home is where you make it.
- Joe Dirt: What?
- Old Cajun Man: Home is where you make it.
- Joe Dirt: You like to see homos naked?”