“Where were you kicking? I ain't got no balls, dummy.”
“Mr. Deeds” quotes(2002)
Plot – Longfellow Deeds' life is about to change. He spends his days writing poetry and working in his own pizzeria at Mandrake Falls, until a relative leaves him a huge inheritance that consists of several million dollars, a publishing empire, a football team, a basketball team and a helicopter. The opportunists try to steal him and the reporters look for scoops about the new millionaire's life. With the help of his trusted butler Emilio, Deeds will learn that money can change many things, but not necessarily it has to change him.
All actors – Adam Sandler, Winona Ryder, John Turturro, Allen Covert, Peter Gallagher, Jared Harris, Erick Avari, Peter Dante, Conchata Ferrell, Harve Presnell, Steve Buscemi, Blake Clarkshow all
“Mr. Deeds” Quotes 14 quotes
“These things are damn fast!
[to prove it, he punches the accelerator and collides with a tree]
I'm all right!”
- Longfellow Deeds: My school nurse was so mean, every time I'd tell her I had a tummy ache, she'd send me back to my class and say: "stop whining".
- Babe Bennett: But that's awful!
- Longfellow Deeds: Well, I said it every day.
“I watch the stock market channel all the time... I just watch because I suspect that anchor man of being an evil leprechaun... he can bullshit everybody else, but he ain't fooling me.”
“- Shareholder: I wanted to be veterinarian.
- Longfellow Deeds: Cool. Why did you want to do that?
- Shareholder: I wanted to help sick animals.
- Longfellow Deeds: And what do you do now?
- Shareholder: I own a chain of slaughterhouses.”
“- Longfellow Deeds: So how is the elevator business treating you, Reuben?
- Reuben: Oh, it has its ups and downs.”
“I wasn't talking to you, Deeds. I was talking to that squirrel over there.
[points at a goat]”
“- Shareholder: I wanted to be a magician!
- Longfellow Deeds: What do you do now?
- Shareholder: I operate a pornographic website.
- Longfellow Deeds: I guess that makes people happy too, in a much grosser way.”
“- Coretta Keeling, the Cat Lady: I'm not leaving without my kitties!
- Longfellow Deeds: How many do you got?
- Coretta Keeling, the Cat Lady: Seven.
- Longfellow Deeds: Holy shit. Let's get cracking.”
“- Emilio Lopez: How can I thank you?
- Longfellow Deeds: All I want is your friendship, Emilio. You're a good man.
- Emilio Lopez: Deeds! How about a billion dollars?
- Longfellow Deeds: Alright.”