“Kung Pow! Enter the Fist” quotes

Movie Kung Pow! Enter the Fist
Title Kung Pow! Enter the Fist
Original title Kung Pow: Enter the Fist
Year 2002
Director Steve Oedekerk
Genre Comedy, Action
Plot – The Chosen One, who surprised everyone for his kung fu moves when he was only a child, is determined to avenge the death of his parents. Master Pain - Betty - is responsible for the murder. The battle to defeat the cruel enemy will be tough and will engage the Chosen One in absurd fights. The queen of kung fu Whoa and Master Tang will help him.
All actors – Steve Oedekerk, Fei Lung, Leo Lee, Ling-ling Hsieh, Lin Yan, Chia Yung Liu, Hui Lou Chen, Chi Ma, Jennifer Tung, Ming Lo, Peggy Lu, Tad Horino, Tori Tran, Simon Rhee, Joon Kim, Philip Tan, Nasty Nes, Chad Stahelski, Michael Li, Jen Sung, Al Goto, Will Leong, Woon, Hiro Koda, Ron Yuan, David Wald, John Koyama, Johnny Eusebio, Marcus Young, Elsa Cancino, James Wing Woo, Charles Park, Cary Y. Mizobe, Alejandro Olazabal, Paulina Guerrero, Emanuel Kohakura, Ivan Nakamura, Óscar Carrillo, Mu Shu Fasa, Chun Lei, Hou-Chiang Chi, Sung Chao Yu, Ho Wu, Philip Kwok, Woon Young Park, Yu Wang
show all
  • - Chosen One: But I don't understand. Who are the evil council?
    - Mu Shu Fasa: The answer you seek resides in the stars above.
    - Chosen One: I don't understand.
    - Mu Shu Fasa: Of course you don't. I'm speaking in riddles. That's kind of the point, like a clue, so when you figure it out you'll say "oh, that's what he meant! Stars above"!

    Steve Oedekerk - Chosen One
    Mu Shu Fasa - Mu Shu Fasa
  • “- Chosen One: I'll take a pound of nuts.
    - Shop Keeper: [yelling] That's a lot of nuts! That'll be four bucks, baby! You want fries with that?”

    Steve Oedekerk - Chosen One
  • “You killed my family and I don't like that kind of thing.”
    Steve Oedekerk - Chosen One
    [Tag:family, killing]
  • “- Master Tang: I know you seek The Chosen One. And I know what you did to his family.
    [begins coughing]
    - Master Tang: And now, I'm going to beat you up.
    - Master Pain (Betty): Do you need a glass of water, or something? Geez, at least cover your mouth. We're all going to catch it.”

    Hui Lou Chen - Master Tang
    Fei Lung - Master Pain (Betty)
    [Tag:disease, fighting]
  • “No! He would kill you like a small dog. Let your anger be as a monkey in a piñata... hiding amongst the candy... hoping the kids don't break through with the stick!”
    Hui Lou Chen - Master Tang
  • “Knock, knock. Who's there? Your butt that's about to be kicked!”
    Chia Yung Liu - Wimp Lo
  • “Well, I thought you looked familiar. Sorry, I didn't recognize you without crap in your pants!”
    Fei Lung - Master Pain (Betty)
  • “Ok, so here were my options: A, quickly duck sideways, dodge the claw, then take him out with a spinning back-kick... or B, take the claw in the face, then roll on the ground, and die.
    [hit in the face after a few seconds later]
    Hmm. I guess I should have gone with A!”

    Hui Lou Chen - Master Tang
    [Tag:choice, fighting]
  • “I have been called bad before. Many have said I do things that are not correct to do. I don't believe in talk such as this. I am nice man, with happy feelings. All of the time. First, a joke. What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?
    My ass. Nyah, haha, enough.”

    Fei Lung - Master Pain (Betty)
    [Tag:feeling, laughing]
  • “- Chosen One: Master Tang I have traveled many miles to meet you.
    - Master Tang: How many miles? Would you say 10 million?”

    Steve Oedekerk - Chosen One
    Hui Lou Chen - Master Tang
  • “- Master Pain (Betty): That's right! The Evil Council are aliens!
    - Chosen One: [speaker comes out of Council ship and plays French music] They're French.
    - Master Pain (Betty): Ha, ha! Stinky pits and all, baby!”

    Fei Lung - Master Pain (Betty)
    Steve Oedekerk - Chosen One
    [Tag:alien, france, stink]
  • “- Master Doe: Please, I'm dying, you must listen to me. I fear the Chosen One may give up hope, this must not happen. The creature in his tongue, although a little disturbing, possesses great supernatural powers. Without Tonguey, the Council is invincible, they will come to Betty's aid. Do you understand that?
    - Master Tang: [nods head up and...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Chi Ma - Master Doe
    Hui Lou Chen - Master Tang
  • “Killing is wrong. And bad. There should be a new, stronger word for killing. Like badwrong, or badong. Yes, killing is badong. From this moment, I will stand for the opposite of killing: gnodab.”
    Steve Oedekerk - Chosen One
  • “I see the way you look at him. I'm a man, too, you know? I go pee pee standing up.”
    Fei Lung - Master Pain (Betty)
  • “- Chosen One: His powers are greater than mine.
    - Mu Shu Fasa: Yes. Plus, when you got hit with his iron claw, you did scream like a wussy.”

    Steve Oedekerk - Chosen One
    Mu Shu Fasa - Mu Shu Fasa
    [Tag:pain, power]
  • “- Master Doe: I have a mortal wound.
    - Master Tang: Where? Where does it hurt?
    - Master Doe: Oh, pretty much around the big bloody spot.”

    Chi Ma - Master Doe
    Hui Lou Chen - Master Tang
    [Tag:blood, pain, wound]