“Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity” quotes

(2007)
Movie Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity
Title Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity
Year 2007
Director Michael Simon
Genre Comedy
All actors – Jeff Dunham, Paige Dunham
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  • “- Jeff Dunham: Do you have a weakness?
    - Melvin the Superhero Guy: Cupcakes... and porn. Not at the same time! I need a free hand.”

    Jeff Dunham - Jeff Dunham
    Jeff Dunham - Melvin the Superhero Guy
  • “- Peanut: What the hell is wrong with you? We cannot talk at the same time! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk, that's it! Focus! I am so sick of this crap! I've tried going solo!
    - Jeff Dunham: And what happened?
    - Peanut: Kept falling off this frickin' stand, that's what happened.”

    Jeff Dunham - Peanut
    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    [Tag:speech, talking]
  • “- Jeff Dunham: Does your wife have any powers?
    - Melvin the Superhero Guy: Yes, really, uh-huh. Once a month she becomes evil! And I cannot defeat her! Our children run in terror! Our big dog cowers under the couch!”

    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    Jeff Dunham - Melvin the Superhero Guy
    [Tag:period, wife]
  • “- Jeff Dunham: I like Aquaman. He can breathe underwater and talk to fish.
    - Melvin the Superhero Guy: Yeah, great, he has all the same powers as Spongebob.”

    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    Jeff Dunham - Melvin the Superhero Guy
  • “- Jeff Dunham: Marriage is an institution.
    - Walter: So is Alcatraz.
    - Jeff Dunham: You can't compare marriage to prison.
    - Walter: Yeah, I guess you're right. The warden doesn't max out your credit cards.”

    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    Jeff Dunham - Walter
    [Tag:marriage]
  • - Walter: You heard a little of that, didn't ya?
    - Jeff Dunham: Oh yeah.
    - Walter: I hung up on her.
    - Jeff Dunham: Not good.
    - Walter: Yeah. She called back and she's like: "Did you hang up on me?". I said: "I don't know, did it sound something like this? Click!".
    - Jeff Dunham: Did that make her angry?
    - Walter: Oh, I felt a disturbance in the... (continue)
    (continue reading)

    Jeff Dunham - Walter
    Jeff Dunham - Himself
  • - Jeff Dunham: José, I must say you speak English very well.
    - José Jalapeño on a Stick: Gracias, Señor.
    - Jeff Dunham: What were some of the first phrases you learned in English?
    - Peanut: "Will you help me push my car?" "Does this I.D. look real to you?"
    - Jeff Dunham: Will you stop it?
    - Peanut: "Where's the nearest Home Depot?"
    - Jeff Dunham... (continue)
    (continue reading)

    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    Jeff Dunham - José Jalapeño on a Stick
  • “- Jeff Dunham: The White House is where the most powerful man in the free world lives.
    - Walter: Oprah?”

    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    Jeff Dunham - Walter
  • “- Achmed the Dead Terrorist: I would not kill the Jews. No. I would toss a penny between them and watch them fight to the death!
    - Jeff Dunham: Achmed, stop doing that! You can't tell jokes like that!
    - Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Why not? I'm killing... so to speak!”

    Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist
    Jeff Dunham - Himself
  • “- Melvin the Superhero Guy: I can fly.
    - Jeff Dunham: Really? How far?
    - Melvin the Superhero Guy: How far can you throw me?”

    Jeff Dunham - Melvin the Superhero Guy
    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    [Tag:flight, heroes]
  • - Walter: I don't wanna go home.
    - Jeff Dunham: Why not?
    - Walter: I think my house is haunted.
    - Jeff Dunham: Why do you think that?
    - Walter: My wife is there. I walk in the front door and all I hear is: "Get out!".

    Jeff Dunham - Walter
    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    [Tag:ghosts, marriage, wife]
  • - Jeff Dunham: So you're Muslim?
    - Achmed the Dead Terrorist: I don't think so.
    - Jeff Dunham: You don't think you're Muslim?
    - Achmed the Dead Terrorist: No.
    - Jeff Dunham: Why not?
    - Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Look at my ass. It says: "Made in China".

    Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist
    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    [Tag:nation, religion]
  • “- Jeff Dunham: So you're a superhero?
    - Melvin the Superhero Guy: Yes!
    - Jeff Dunham: What is your most outstanding feature?
    - Melvin the Superhero Guy: My costume.”

    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    Jeff Dunham - Melvin the Superhero Guy
    [Tag:ability, heroes]
  • “I named him Bill 'cause I got him when Clinton was in office, and as a puppy he was humping everything.”

    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    Jeff Dunham
  • “- Jeff Dunham: You can't tell jokes like that.
    - Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Why?
    - Jeff Dunham: It offends people.
    - Achmed the Dead Terrorist: I'm dead, what do I care?”

    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist
  • “- Jeff Dunham: Do you believe in reincarnation?
    - Walter: Hell, I don't know.
    - Jeff Dunham: Well, if it happens, who would you come back as and what would you do?
    - Walter: I would come back as my wife and leave me the hell alone!”

    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    Jeff Dunham - Walter
  • - Walter: Maybe one day I'll be reincarnated and come back as a sensitive guy.
    - Jeff Dunham: Sure.
    - Walter: Driving blue frickin' Prius. That is the saddest little vehicle.
    - Jeff Dunham: It's a great car!
    - Walter: You ever heard it when you drive by?
    - Jeff Dunham: No.
    - Walter: It goes "IIIIIII'm gaaaaayyyyyy".

    Jeff Dunham - Walter
    Jeff Dunham - Himself
    [Tag:cars]
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