“- Wayne: 'Know what? She's kinda like Mother Teresa.
- J.D.: Yeah, but with way better tits.”
Steve Zahn - Wayne
Jack Black - J.D.

“Every man... every man has to go through hell to reach paradise.”
Robert De Niro - Max Cady

“- Father Jebedaiah Mayii: I command you to leave this child at once!
- Nancy Aglet: Make me, slimeball.
- Father Jebedaiah Mayii: I am a priest!
- Nancy Aglet: Oh, pardon me, your most reverent and holy slimeball!”

Leslie William Nielsen - Father Jebedaiah Mayii
Linda Blair - Nancy Aglet

“There are certain things in life that are sacred - sagradas - and we don't spit on them. Because, without them, it doesn't matter whether we live or die. Marriage is something that we don't spit on.”
Jenny Gago - Maria

“- High Priest: Behind these doors is the Holiest of Holies, earthly domain of the gods. A place so ineffably sacred, so powerful, that he who enters: instant death!
- Oh: Who cleans it?”
Oliver Platt - High Priest
Michael Cera - Oh