“Mystery Science Theater 3000” quotes

“Doesn't the fact that it's universal make it international?”

Michael J. Nelson - Mike Nelson

“Space, the final frontier, these are the voyages of Babylon 5.”
Kevin Murphy - Tom Servo

“This is my test subject, Mike Nelson - a disgustingly mild-mannered dope who's managed to survive every film I've subjected him to. But, perhaps, this movie will drive him to the breaking point and crush his soul. And then I'll unleash it on an unwitting public, and then I will rule the world!”
Trace Beaulieu - Dr. Clayton Forrester

“Captain's log: a bunch of our ship fell off, and, nobody likes me.”
Kevin Murphy - Tom Servo

“Puppet wranglers? There weren't any puppets in this movie.”
Trace Beaulieu - Crow T. Robot

“- Tom Servo: Check rate of radioactive decay.
- Crow T. Robot: Increase the Flash Gordon noise and put more science stuff around!”
Kevin Murphy - Tom Servo
Trace Beaulieu - Crow T. Robot

I'm feeling particularly evil because today's experiment is a stinky cinematic suppository called "This Island Earth". You may all bow down before me after this stinkburger.
Trace Beaulieu - Dr. Clayton Forrester

“- Crow T. Robot: Science and Industry!
- Tom Servo: See big men sticking screw drivers into things - turning them - and adjusting them!
- Crow T. Robot: Build your very own Atom Storage Box!
- Mike Nelson: Bringing you state-of-the-art in soft-serve technology!
- Crow T. Robot: Removes lids off bottles and jars of all sizes - and it really,...” (continue)(continue reading)

Trace Beaulieu - Crow T. Robot
Kevin Murphy - Tom Servo
Michael J. Nelson - Mike Nelson

“- Crow T. Robot: Man, the universe is really cruisin'.
- Tom Servo: Hey, look, there's Taurus the bull.
- Mike Nelson: And right underneath him the constellation feces.
- Crow T. Robot: Hey, look, Orion's broke.”
Trace Beaulieu - Crow T. Robot
Kevin Murphy - Tom Servo
Michael J. Nelson - Mike Nelson

“- Exeter: They're concentrating all their attention on Metaluna. Those flashes of light - they're meteors. Hundreds of them! The intense heat is turning Metaluna into a radioactive sun. The temperature must be thousands of degrees by now.
- Crow T. Robot: Cooler by the lake.
- Exeter: A lifeless planet. And yet...
- Tom Servo: Rents are reasonable!”
Trace Beaulieu - Crow T. Robot
Kevin Murphy - Tom Servo

“Well believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid... and I went ahead anyway.”

Trace Beaulieu - Crow T. Robot

“I'm experiencing a sensation altogether new to me, and frankly I love it!”
Kevin Murphy - Tom Servo

“Self cleaning mutant. Leaves only the fresh scent of pine.”
Kevin Murphy - Tom Servo

“That's what happens when you leave a potato in the microwave!”

Kevin Murphy - Tom Servo

“Raspberry world. For all your raspberry needs.”
Michael J. Nelson - Mike Nelson

“If not satisfied with this movie, please return unused portion for a full refund.”
Kevin Murphy - Tom Servo

“I feel so insignificant... then again, I always feel insignificant.”

Trace Beaulieu - Crow T. Robot

“- Joe Wilson: Here's something my wife could use in the house...
- Crow T. Robot: A man?”
Trace Beaulieu - Crow T. Robot

“- Mike Nelson: I'm beginning to think they're not from around here.
- Tom Servo: No, I bet you they're English, or Canadian.”

Michael J. Nelson - Mike Nelson
Kevin Murphy - Tom Servo

“Washingtonland, the new Disney theme park.”
Michael J. Nelson - Mike Nelson