“So I Married an Axe Murderer” quotes(1993)
Plot – Charlie Mackenzie is very unlucky with women: Sherry was a kleptomaniac, Jill was a member of the mafia, Sandy was a terrorist who took hostage Charlie himself and Pam smelled of soup. Finally Charlie has married and now he realizes that those things were toshes: in fact things have changed meeting Harriet Michaels. She's smart and sexy, she manages a butcher shop in San Francisco and she's mad about Charlie. This time the man is ready to take important decisions but, what if she turns out with some kind of flaws? Everything but an axe murderer.
All actors – Mike Myers, Nancy Travis, Anthony LaPaglia, Amanda Plummer, Brenda Fricker, Matt Doherty, Charles Grodin, Phil Hartman, Debi Mazar, Steven Wright, Patrick Bristow, Cintra Wilsonshow all
“So I Married an Axe Murderer” Quotes 13 quotes
- Stuart Mackenzie: We both said "I do", and we haven't agreed on a single thing since.
- May Mackenzie: That's true!
- Stuart Mackenzie: But I'm glad I married you, May, because hey, could've been worse.
- Stuart Mackenzie: Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee beady eyes, and that smug look on his face. "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Oh!"
- Charlie Mackenzie: Dad, how can you hate "The Colonel"?
- Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!
“- Harriet Michaels: What do you look for in a woman you date?
- Charlie Mackenzie: Well, I know everyone always says sense of humor, but I'd really have to go with breast size.”
“- Harriet Michaels: Do you actually like haggis?
- Charlie Mackenzie: No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.”
- Harriet Michaels: Charlie, have you ever stood at the edge of a cliff or a subway platform with someone and you thought just for a split second "what if I pushed him?".
- Charlie Mackenzie: Well, not really. Usually I follow the Judeo-Christian ethic of "Thou shalt not kill" but that's just me.
“- Tony's Boss: Well, here's the news! It seems that the old lady that confessed to the murder of Ralph Elliot has also confessed to a couple of other murders.
- Tony Giardino: I knew she would! I knew it!
- Tony's Boss: Yeah! Right! Well, she's confessed to the murders of Abraham Lincoln, Warren G. Harding and Julius Caesar. She's a nutcase! A...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Charlie Mackenzie: Marry me.
- Harriet Michaels: No.
- Charlie Mackenzie: Please?”
You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it's called "Fuck You". It's mostly just head butting and then kicking people when they're on the ground.
- Charlie Mackenzie: Hey Mom, I find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as, "The paper." The paper contains facts.
- May Mackenzie: This paper contains facts. And this paper has the eighth highest circulation in the whole wide world. Right? Plenty of facts. "Pregnant man gives birth." That's a fact.