“The Road to Wellville” quotes(1994)
Plot – In 1907 Will and Eleanor Lightbody arrive to the health clinic 'The Saint' in Battle Creek, which is directed by Dr. John Harvey Kellogg, the creator of the 'corn flakes'. He cures rich people who love eating and have weird sexual excesses. He's an obsessive health fanatic and forces his patients to a very strict diet and to sexual abstinence. The Lightbodys have both food and sexual problems and in the clinic they have separate rooms. Will meets Ida Muntz while Eleanor relies on doctor Spitzvogel. When Ida dies, Will learns about his wife and the doctor, but in the end the couple makes peace.
All actors – Anthony Hopkins, Bridget Fonda, Matthew Broderick, John Cusack, Dana Carvey, Michael Lerner, Colm Meaney, John Neville, Lara Flynn Boyle, Traci Lind, Camryn Manheim, Roy Brocksmith, Norbert Weisser, Monica Parker, Jacob Reynolds, Michael Goodwin, Marshall Efron, Aleksandr Slanksnis, Carole Shelley, Gabriel Barre, Robert Tracey, Ann Tucker, Jemila Ericson, Marianne Muellerleile, Jean Wenderlich, Mark Jeffrey Miller, Joanne Pankow, Mary Jane Corry, Rich Valliere, George Nannarello, James Bigwood, David Kraus, D. Anthony Pender, Mary Lucy Bivins, William Hempel, Richard H. Thornton, Lisa Altomare, Jim Bath, Madeline Shaw, Barbara Phillips, Lindsay Hutchinson Berte, Denise S. Bass, Charlotte H. Ballinger, John Henry Scott, Richard K. Olsen, Ann Deagon, Thomas Myers Jr., Beth Bostic, Kerry Maher, Sam Garner, Brendan Boyce, Don Kraus, Robert J. Maxwell, Michael Powershow all
“The Road to Wellville” Quotes 18 quotes
“With friends like you, who needs enemas?”
“- Reporter #1: Dr. Kellogg, how did you come to invent the corn flake?
- Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: The corn flake, sir, is just one of my 75 creations for heathy livin', among them peanut butter and the electric blanket.”
“Meat eaters, sir, are drowning in a tide of gore. What is a sausage? A sausage is an indigestible balloon of decayed beef, riddled with tuberculosis. Eat and die! For I have seen many a repentant meatglutton his body full of uric acid and remorse, his soul adrift on the raft in the ocean of poisonous slime, sloshin' against the walls of the...” (continue)(continue reading)
“An erection is a flagpole on your grave.”
“- Virginia Cranehill: The fresh air, the exercise, and the pleasure of a leather saddle between one's thighs.
- Eleanor Lightbody: Why, Virginia, what do you mean?
- Virginia Cranehill: Bicycle smile, I believe they call it.”
“Health! The 'open sesame' to the sucker's purse!”
“My own stools, Sir, are gigantic and have no more odor than a hot biscuit.”
“Marriage is just legalized prostitution, my dear.”
“Build up your resolve, not your genitals!”
“I wanted to be more than a hole in the mattress that answers to a name.”
“The enemas take some getting used to, but, in time, you'll learn to look forward to them like an old friend with a cold nose.”
“- Reporter #1: Sir, how often should one evacuate one's bowels?
- Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: One should never, ever, interrupt one's desire to defecate. I have inquired at the Bronx and London Zoos as to the daily bowel evacuations of primates. It is not once, twice, or three times, sir, but four. At the end of an average day, their cages are...” (continue)(continue reading)
“You hooked me like a fish, Bender. You scaled me, you gutted me, you stuffed me and fried me, chewed me up, swallowed me, and shat me out again!”
“- William Lightbody: They're dead! They've been electrocuted!
- Endymion Hart-Jones: Rather a severe cure for flatulence, I do admit.”
“- William Lightbody: You were masturbating!
- Dr. Lionel Badger: I was not! I was massaging my colon!
- William Lightbody: Massaging your colon! I know where the colon is and it doesn't stick up in the air!”