Shirley MacLaine quotes
“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.”
“I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I've written for myself... and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.”
“- Aurora Greenway: How is she?
- Dr. Maise: I tell people to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
- Aurora Greenway: And they let you get away with that?”
“Life is short, but marriage is long, so drink up, and it will make it go a hell of a lot faster.”
“I realized that if what we call human nature can be changed, then absolutely anything is possible. And from that moment, my life changed.”
“I'm so drunk, I don't think I could lie down without holding on!”
“- C.C. Baxter: It's a wonderful thing, dinner for two.
- Fran Kubelik: Do you usually eat alone?
- C.C. Baxter: Oh no. Sometimes I have dinner with Ed Sullivan. Sometimes Dinah Shore, or Perry Como. The other night I had dinner with Mae West. Of course she was much younger then.”
“Why do people have to love people anyway?”
“Just because I wear a uniform doesn't make me a girl scout.”
“- C.C. Baxter: The mirror... it's broken.
- Fran Kubelik: Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.”
“When you're in love with a married man, you shouldn't wear mascara.”
“- Princess Aouda: Have there been any women in his life?
- Passepartout: I assume he had a mother, but I am not certain.”
“He looked exactly the same when he was alive, only he was vertical.”
“- Jennifer Rogers: I've never been to a home-made funeral before.
- Capt. Wiles: I have... it's my third. All in one day...”
“When I see the amount of money flung into that cauldron called Hollywood, I feel not one ounce of guilt about what I get.”
“- Doris Mann: Are you less mad at me now?
- Suzanne Vale: I am always less mad at you, mom.”
“- Drum Eatenton: Ouiser you look like hammered shit.
- Ouiser Boudreaux: Don't you talk to me like that!
- Drum Eatenton: Oh, I'm sorry you look like regular shit.”
“All it takes is heat and pressure to turn a rock into a diamond.”
“That jealousy - it's poison.”