“Weekend at Bernie's” quotes

Movie Weekend at Bernie's
Ted Kotcheff directed this movie in 1989
Title Weekend at Bernie's
Year 1989
Director Ted Kotcheff
Genre Comedy, Crime, Adventure
Interpreted by
Plot – Larry and Richard are two young insurance company employees. While working overtime, they discover a two-million-dollar fraud over a settlement claim. The two take their finding to their boss, Bernie Lomax, without knowing that it was he himself behind the fraud. The only thing that Lomax can do at this point is to congratulate the two and to show them his appreciation he invites them to spend the weekend with him at his beach house. While Lomax plans to get rid of the two over the weekend, his mob-boss business partner has decided to get rid of him instead.
All actors – Andrew McCarthy, Jonathan Silverman, Catherine Mary Stewart, Terry Kiser, Don Calfa, Catherine Parks, Eloise DeJoria, Gregory Salata, Louis Giambalvo, Ted Kotcheff, Margaret Hall, Timothy Perez, Mark Kenneth Smaltz, Anthony Mannino, Polly Segal, Robert L. Horen, Bruce Paul Barbour, Jason Woliner, Dan Cox, Steve Howard, Lorri Lindberg, Jack Hallett, John Bennes, Augustina Berlings, Mert Hatfield, Jack Canon, Nello Tare, Joyce Leigh Bowden, Stefanos Miltsakakis, Dan Preston, Jean Liles, Lisa Sherrill Gannon, Rachel Lewis, Dan Wargo, Patricia Roseman, David Arey, Ronald C. Ross, George Cheung, Lou Criscuolo, Edward Little Dean, Stephen Fischer, Cindy Foster Jones, Richard W. Boucher, Leslie Sternchak, Tina Diane King, Scooby Vincent, , Phillip V. Caruso, David Hummel, Patt Noday, Skeet Ulrich
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  • “- Richard Parker: Now all of this could be yours, Lar, if you set your goals and work hard.
    - Larry Wilson: My old man worked hard. All they did was give him more work.”

    Jonathan Silverman - Richard Parker
    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
    [Tag:goals, wealth, working]
  • “How do you like that? The guy gets laid more times dead than I do alive.”
    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
    [Tag:death, sex]
  • “I give it an 8.3!”

    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
    [Tag:flying, judgment]
  • “- Richard Parker: Well, you're a half hourlate.
    - Larry Wilson: Only half hour? I'm usually forty-five minuteslate. I'm early today.”

    Jonathan Silverman - Richard Parker
    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
    [Tag:date, delay, hours]
  • “We could call the cops, Richard, but you know where we'd be spending our weekend. In some... goddamned hot police station answering questions we don't know the answers to.”
    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
    [Tag:answers, police]
  • “What kind of a host invites you to his house for the weekend and dies on you?”

    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
  • “- Larry Wilson: Look honey, Bernie's dead, they guys that killed 'em are now after us, can we hide out at your place or what?
    - Richard Parker: Gwen, we didn't do this to him! Look at us! Do we look like the kind of people who could kill someone?
    - Larry Wilson: Come on, honey, sit down, take a load off, have a drink, you'll be fine!
    - Richard...” (continue)
    (continue reading)

    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
    Jonathan Silverman - Richard Parker
    [Tag:body, killing]
  • “- Larry Wilson: Rich, if she finds out you live with your folks, you're gonna embarrass yourself.
    - Richard Parker: Yeah. Yeah, I know. But I can't do that to you, Larry.
    - Larry Wilson: It's the coackroaches isn't it?
    - Richard Parker: Well...
    - Larry Wilson: They scatter when the light goes on.”

    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
    Jonathan Silverman - Richard Parker
  • “- Harris, Security Officer: Hot enough for ya, Larry?
    - Larry Wilson: No, Harris! Why don't you turn up the heat?
    - Harris, Security Officer: OK, I'll tell the engineer.”

    Mark Kenneth Smaltz - Harris, Security Officer
    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
    [Tag:sarcasm, summer]
  • “- Larry Wilson: God, that guy; beautiful apartment, house at the beach, babes, boat, car. Do you know how much it costs to park a car in Manhattan every month? More than my rent.
    - Richard Parker: Well, I mean it's only fair. His car is a bit bigger than your apartment.”

    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
    Jonathan Silverman - Richard Parker
  • “- Larry Wilson: I have an idea!
    - Richard Parker: What? What is it?
    - Larry Wilson: Lomax told whoever he was talking to not to kill us while he's around.
    - Richard Parker: Yes, but Bernie's dead. He's not around anymore.
    - Larry Wilson: Yeah. I know that. You know that. Nobody else knows that.”

    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
    Jonathan Silverman - Richard Parker
  • “- Richard Parker: Paddling... In the AtlanticOcean... On a dead body. This is now the perfect weekend. It started when I almost broke my leg jumping on a moving ferry. I get to this beautiful beech and my host... Sorry! He's dead! I fell down a lighthouse. I had a corpse wash up next to me on the shore. I then I find out that my dead boss? He's...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Jonathan Silverman - Richard Parker
    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
    [Tag:death, sarcasm, sea]
  • “- Larry Wilson: Son of a bitch. I mean, it's not bad enough that he's trying to kill me. Now he's trying to turn me into a drag queen. Why couldn't he have said you were going to have the operation?
    - Richard Parker: It doesn't matter, Larry, it doesn't matter.
    - Larry Wilson: Oh, yes it does matter, Richard, it does matter. I have a reputation...” (continue)
    (continue reading)

    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
    Jonathan Silverman - Richard Parker
  • “- Larry Wilson: Why are you shooting us? We're just friends of Bernie's.
    - Paulie, Vito's Hit Man: I hate... Bernie's friends!”

    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson
    Don Calfa - Paulie, Vito's Hit Man
  • “- Mugger: Give me all your money and your wallets.
    - Larry Wilson: Aw, get your ass outta here, it's too hot!”

    Timothy Perez - Mugger
    Andrew McCarthy - Larry Wilson