“Robin Hood: Men in Tights” quotes

Movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights
Mel Brooks directed this movie in 1993
Title Robin Hood: Men in Tights
Year 1993
Director Mel Brooks
Genre Comedy, Musical, Adventure
Plot – In the thirteenth century, Richard the Lionheart King of England, who departed for the Crusade, is captured and is prisoned in the Holy Land. Robin of Loxley, his faithful nobleman, escapes and adventurously returns to his homeland. Here the evil Prince John, brother of the King, has usurped the throne helped by the Sheriff of Rottingham and he’s oppressing the hungry peasantry. However, in the Sherwood forest Robin becomes their protector, training them to use weapons instead of pitchforks. He also finds the time to fall in love with Marian, a princess with a chastity belt who’s suffering because of an extremely prudish German governess, Broomhilde. Robin organizes the uprising with the help of Etci, the son of an African prince, the blind servant Blinkin and Little John, a large man of the forest. The sinister Sheriff hires three Sicilian killers to murder Robin and he also receives a potion from the awful witch Latrina, in love with him, to marry Marian. Anyway, the Sheriff dies miserably, Robin ties the knot and becomes Lord of Sherwood after Richard comes back.
All actors – Cary Elwes, Richard Lewis, Roger Rees, Amy Yasbeck, Mark Blankfield, Dave Chappelle, Isaac Hayes, Megan Cavanagh, Eric Allan Kramer, Matthew Porretta, Tracey Ullman, Patrick Stewart, Dom DeLuise, Dick Van Patten, Robert Ridgely, Mel Brooks, Steve Tancora, Joe Dimmick, Avery Schreiber, Chuck McCann, Brian George, Zitto Kazann, Richard Assad, Herman Poppe, Clive Revill, Joe Baker, Carol Arthur, Kelly Jones Gabriele, Clement von Franckenstein, Corbin Allred, Chase Masterson, Don Lewis, Roger Owens, Patrick Valenzuela, Steffon, Dante Henderson, Bryant Baldwin, Diesko Boyland Jr., Edgar Godineaux Jr., Johnny Dean Harvey, Tyce Diorio, Joseph R. McKee, Nathan Prevost, Don Hesser, Bill Bohl, Christopher D. Childers, Raymond Del Barrio, Malcolm Danare, Edwin Hale, Nick Jameson, Peter Pitofsky, Nicholas Rempel, Rudy De Luca, Matthew Saks, Robin Shepard, Dee Gubin, Brad Grunberg, Lisa Cordray, Laurie Main, Elaine Ballace, Stuart Schreiber, James Van Patten, Ira Miller, Lillian D'Arc, Patrick Brymer, Robert Noble, Henry Kaiser, Tony Tanner, Diana Chesney, James Glaser, Ronny Graham, , Philip Alcazar, David DeLuise, Debbie James, Danny McBride, Arthur Rubin, Hanala Sagal, Marc Ian Sklar, Tim Storms
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  • “- Latrine: Raven's egg! Blood of a hen! A little more blood, yes! Eyeballs of a crocodile! Testicles of a newt! I bet he's a transsexual now! Robin of Loxley is handsome and brave. He seeks to regain his family's honor. Little sod could be trouble.
    - Prince John: Are you certain?
    - Latrine: Certain? You want certain, hire yourself a witch! Me,...” (continue)
    (continue reading)

    Tracey Ullman - Latrine
    Richard Lewis - Prince John
  • “- Blinkin: Master Robin, Is that you?
    - Robin Hood: Yes.
    - Blinkin: Back from the Crusades?
    - Robin Hood: Yes.
    - Blinkin: And alive?
    - Robin Hood: [pause] Yes.”

    Mark Blankfield - Blinkin
    Cary Elwes - Robin Hood
    [Tag:living, war]
  • “Good people, who have travelled from villages near and far! Lend me your ears!
    [the crowd proceeds to pull off ears and throw them at Robin Hood]
    That's disgusting!”

    Cary Elwes - Robin Hood
    [Tag:disgust, ears]
  • “- Asneeze: I've been in here for a while. Perhaps I could be of service. Do you have any questions?
    - Robin Hood: What are you in for?
    - Asneeze: Jaywalking.”

    Isaac Hayes - Asneeze
    Cary Elwes - Robin Hood
    [Tag:crime, prison]
  • “- Sheriff of Rottingham: What? You'll be mine? You'll give yourself to me every night? And sometimes, right after lunch?
    - Marian: Yes, but only my body. You can never have my heart, my mind, or my soul!
    - Sheriff of Rottingham: Oh, oh yes! I respect that.”

    Roger Rees - Sheriff of Rottingham
    Amy Yasbeck - Marian
    [Tag:body, respect, sex]
  • “Tell everyone that when the day is out we shall have a wedding. Or a hanging. Either way, we're gonna have a lot of fun, huh?”
    Richard Lewis - Prince John
  • “- Sheriff of Rottingham: Who are these men?
    - Don Giovanni: These? These are my most trusted associates. On my right, Dirty Ezio. On my left, Filthy Luca.
    - Filthy Luca: We thank you, for inviting us on the day of your daughter's wedding.
    - Don Giovanni: No, no, no.
    - Filthy Luca: I hope that her first child, is a masculinechild.”

    Roger Rees - Sheriff of Rottingham
    Dom DeLuise - Don Giovanni
    Steve Tancora - Filthy Luca
  • “- Angry Villager: There must be another way of doing the credits.
    - Fire Marshall: That's right. Every time they make a Robin Hood movie, they burn our village down!”

    Joe Baker - Angry Villager
    Clive Revill - Fire Marshall
    [Tag:fire, movie]
  • “- Marian: If you promise not to kill Robin, I shall do the most disgusting thing that I can think of.
    - Prince John: Oh.
    - Sheriff of Rottingham: Oh? And what's that?
    - Marian: I shall marry you.”

    Amy Yasbeck - Marian
    Richard Lewis - Prince John
    Roger Rees - Sheriff of Rottingham
    [Tag:disgust, marriage]
  • “- Guard: Robin of Loxley, where is your king?
    - Robin Hood: King? King? And which King might that be? King Richard? King Louis? King Kong? Larry King?”

    Cary Elwes - Robin Hood
  • “- Robin Hood: Blinkin! What are you doing?
    - Blinkin: Guessing. I guess no one's coming.”

    Cary Elwes - Robin Hood
    Mark Blankfield - Blinkin
  • “Man, white men can't jump.”

    Dave Chappelle - Ahchoo
  • “- Ahchoo: Blinkin! How did you do that?
    - Blinkin: I heard that coming a mile away.
    - Robin Hood: Right-o, Blinkin, very good.
    - Blinkin: Pardon? Who's talking?”

    Dave Chappelle - Ahchoo
    Mark Blankfield - Blinkin
    Cary Elwes - Robin Hood
  • - Prince John: Such an unusual name, "Latrine". How did your family come by it?
    - Latrine: We changed it in the 9th century.
    - Prince John: You mean you changed it to "Latrine"?
    - Latrine: Yeah. Used to be "Shithouse".

    Richard Lewis - Prince John
    Tracey Ullman - Latrine
    [Tag:changing, name]
  • “- Blinkin: Oh, Master Robin!
    [hugging a replica statue of the Venus de Milo]
    - Blinkin: You lost your arms in battle! But you grew some nice boobs.
    - Robin Hood: Blinkin, I'm over here.”

    Mark Blankfield - Blinkin
    Cary Elwes - Robin Hood
  • - Robin Hood: As my first order of business, I would like to appoint a new Sheriff... my friend Ahchoo.
    - Crowd: A black sheriff?
    - Blinkin: He's black?
    - Ahchoo: And why not? It worked in "Blazing Saddles".

    Cary Elwes - Robin Hood
    Mark Blankfield - Blinkin
    Dave Chappelle - Ahchoo
    [Tag:business, movie]
  • “- Prince John: And why should the people listen to you?
    - Robin Hood: Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.”

    Richard Lewis - Prince John
    Cary Elwes - Robin Hood