Plot – Chuck and Lyle are two brainless American singers and comedians. Hired for a tour in Morocco, they end up being enchanted by a beautiful terrorist, Shira. Reaching the tyrannical emirate of Ishtar almost by accident, they get in a lot of trouble, including being mistaken for the liberators announced by an ancient prophecy and therefore acclaimed by the rebels. Disguised as Bedouins and lost in the desert with a blind camel, they manage to save their lives and their careers despite the CIA wanting them dead.
All actors – Warren Beatty, Dustin Hoffman, Isabelle Adjani, Charles Grodin, Jack Weston, Tess Harper, Carol Kane, Aharon Ipalé, Fijad Hageb, David Margulies, Rose Arrick, Julie Garfieldshow all
“Ishtar” Quotes 17 quotes
“Telling the truth can be dangerous business. Honest and popular don't go hand in hand. If you admit that you play the accordion no one will hire you in a rock 'n' roll band. But we can sing out hearts out. And if we're lucky, then no neighbors complain. Because life is the way we audition for God. Let us pray that we all get the job.”
“- Chuck Clarke: What do you do?
- Jim Harrison: I'm with the CIA.
- Chuck Clarke: Interesting work?”
“It takes a lot of nerve to have nothing at your age, don't you understand that? Most guys'd be ashamed, but you've got the guts to just say 'to hell with it'. You say that you'd rather have nothing than settle for less, understand?”
“The birds in the desert eat only flesh, and there is no wind.”
“- Shirra Assel: You are a murderer!
- Resistence Fighter: So are you. Or do you think a bullet is crueler than what they face now?”
“The enemy of my enemies is my friend.”
“I lived with my mother until I was thirty-two.”
“- Chuck Clarke: Take one sip at a time. That water has to last you about another 48 minutes.
- Lyle Rogers: Why, what happens then?
- Chuck Clarke: We run out of water.”
“You gotta have the looks, Chuck. I mean, you walk into a place like that and girls just want ya, ya know, ya got that kinda face. Kinda mean lookin' but with character. And the way you walk, you can only do that with a small body! Didya ever hear of a big sports car? I mean, if I'd look like you...”
“- Chuck Clarke: I feel so small when I look at the stars. How big is Venus?
- Lyle Rogers: How big is Mars?
- Chuck Clarke: I feel so small when I look at the sky. How big is Heaven?
- Lyle Rogers: How big am I?”
“A lot of people don't have someone to go out on a ledge for them.”
“- Chuck Clarke: You mean you bought a camel?
- Lyle Rogers: No, I didn't really buy it. They sold it to me! I think that something went wrong and now I own a blind camel. A blind camel!”
“- Lyle Rogers: We're not singers, we're songwriters.
- Marty Freed: So? The Beach Boys weren't songwriters.”
“- Lyle Rogers: Chuck, this isn't really a good time to get depressed.
- Chuck Clarke: You're right, I don't know what's wrong with me.
- Lyle Rogers: Look at the upside: we're not livin' lives of quiet desperation.”
“Nothing ever happened to us. And now we're going to die out in the desert shootin' at helicopters.”
“I'll tell you what I told Tony Bennett. Sing songs people already know. That way they'll still have something to applaud.”