“Airplane!” quotes

Movie Airplane!
David Zucker directed this movie in 1980
Title Airplane!
Year 1980
Directors Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker
Genre Comedy
Plot – Ted Striker, an ex-Navy pilot during the war who became a taxi driver, boards on a scheduled flight to try to win his only love over, a flight attendant called Elaine Dickinson. Things get complicated when the three pilots are caught by a sudden illness because of a fish meal served on board. Ted has the duty to fight the ghosts of the past, to take the controls of the plane and to make a landing in order to save the passengers.
All actors – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Lloyd Bridges, Peter Graves, Julie Hagerty, Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen, Lorna Patterson, Robert Stack, Stephen Stucker, Otto, Jim Abrahams, Frank Ashmore, Jonathan Banks, Craig Berenson, Barbara Billingsley, Lee Bryant, Joyce Bulifant, Mae E. Campbell, Ted Chapman, Jesse Emmett, Norman Alexander Gibbs, Amy Gibson, Marcy Goldman, Bob Gorman, Rossie Harris, Maurice Hill, David Hollander, James Hong, Howard Honig, Gregory Itzin, Howard Jarvis, Michael Laurence, David Leisure, Zachary Lewis, Barbara Mallory, Maureen McGovern, Nora Meerbaum, Mary Mercier, Ethel Merman, Len Mooy, Ann Nelson, Laura Nix, John O'Leary, Cyril O'Reilly, Bill Porter, Nicholas Pryor, Conrad E. Palmisano, Mallory Sandler, Michelle Stacy, Robert Starr, Barbara Stuart, Lee Terri, Kenneth Tobey, William Tregoe, Hatsuo Uda, Herb Voland, Jimmie Walker, Jill Whelan, Al White, John David Wilder, Windy, Jason Wingreen, Louise Yaffe, Charlotte Zucker, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker, , Larry Blake, Susan Breslau, William Duell, Sandra Lee Gimpel, Leslie Hoffman, Bill Kirchenbauer, Joyce Mandel, Paula Marie Moody, Kitten Natividad, Robert Nevin, Patrick Reynolds, Leoda Richards, Herb Vigran
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  • “- Airport Steward: Smoking or non-smoking?
    - Ted Striker: Smoking.”

    Ted Chapman - Airport Steward
    Robert Hays - Ted Striker
  • “- Ted Striker: Because of my mistake, six men didn't return from that raid.
    - Elaine Dickinson: Seven. Lieutenant Zip died this morning.”

    Robert Hays - Ted Striker
    Julie Hagerty - Elaine Dickinson
    [Tag:death, faults]
  • “- Dr. Rumack: What was it we had for dinner tonight?
    - Elaine Dickinson: Well, we had a choice of steak or fish.
    - Dr. Rumack: Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.”

    Leslie William Nielsen - Dr. Rumack
    Julie Hagerty - Elaine Dickinson
    [Tag:choice, food]
  • “- Elaine Dickinson: You got a letter from headquarters this morning.
    - Ted Striker: What is it?
    - Elaine Dickinson: It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important.”

    Julie Hagerty - Elaine Dickinson
    Robert Hays - Ted Striker
  • “- Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
    - Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
    - Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.”

    Robert Hays - Ted Striker
    Julie Hagerty - Elaine Dickinson
    [Tag:secrets, war]
  • “- Young Boy with Coffee: Cream?
    - Young Girl with Coffee: No, thank you, I take it black, like my men.”

    David Hollander - Young Boy with Coffee
    Michelle Stacy - Young Girl with Coffee
    [Tag:children, coffee, men]
  • - Elaine Dickinson: Would you like something to read?
    - Hanging Lady: Do you have anything light?
    - Elaine Dickinson: How about this leaflet, "Famous Jewish SportsLegends"?

    Julie Hagerty - Elaine Dickinson
    Ann Nelson - Hanging Lady
  • “- Hanging Lady: Nervous?
    - Ted Striker: Yes.
    - Hanging Lady: First time?
    - Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.”

    Ann Nelson - Hanging Lady
    Robert Hays - Ted Striker
  • “- Dr. Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
    - Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
    - Dr. Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.”

    Leslie William Nielsen - Dr. Rumack
    Julie Hagerty - Elaine Dickinson
  • “- Captain Clarence Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
    - Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
    - Captain Clarence Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?”

    Peter Graves - Captain Clarence Oveur
    Rossie Harris - Joey
  • “- Captain Clarence Oveur: What is it, Doctor? What's going on?
    - Dr. Rumack: I'm not sure. I haven't seen anything like this since the Anita Bryant concert.”

    Peter Graves - Captain Clarence Oveur
    Leslie William Nielsen - Dr. Rumack
    [Tag:food, singers]
  • “- Captain Clarence Oveur: I mean I'm just not sure.
    - Dr. Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
    - Captain Clarence Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
    - Dr. Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?”

    Peter Graves - Captain Clarence Oveur
    Leslie William Nielsen - Dr. Rumack
    [Tag:thinking, time]
  • “I know but this guy has no flying experience at all. He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too.”
    Kenneth Tobey - Air Controller Neubauer
    [Tag:birds, experience]
  • “Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that.”
    Robert Stack - Captain Rex Kramer
  • “It takes so many things to make love last. But most of all, it takes respect, and I can't live with a man I don't respect.”
    Julie Hagerty - Elaine Dickinson
    [Tag:love, respect]
  • “We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered, there's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight... By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?”
    Julie Hagerty - Elaine Dickinson
    [Tag:ability, fear]
  • “- Dr. Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
    - Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
    - Dr. Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.”

    Leslie William Nielsen - Dr. Rumack
    Robert Hays - Ted Striker