Peter Cook movie quotes

“You can't show you're resolute without showing you are strong. And you can't show you're strong without blowing people up.”
Peter Cook - Sir Mortimer Chris

“- Nigel: I want to make a very serious proposal.
- Selena: In that outfit?”
Peter Cook - Nigel
Faye Dunaway - Selena

“You think that nuclear war is unthinkable because once it starts, no-one can win. Well, you're wrong!”
Peter Cook - Sir Mortimer Chris

“We of the Conservative government think that it's appalling to spend billions on nuclear weapons if they're not going to be used.”
Peter Cook - Sir Mortimer Chris

“It's a little severe, but it's always the worst tasting medicine that does the most good.”

Peter Cook - Sir Mortimer Chris

“- President Barbara Adams: Where is the sanity in bombing millions of innocent people?
- Sir Mortimer Chris: It shut Japan up, didn't it?”
Loretta Swit - President Barbara Adams
Peter Cook - Sir Mortimer Chris

“- Sir Mortimer Chris: I was visiting a factory in Stockport. Literally hundreds had lost their jobs, and no wonder, the place was crawling with them.
- Nigel Lipman: With pixies?
- Sir Mortimer Chris: Yes; sprites, elven folk. Which is why I am beginning this campaign.”

Peter Cook - Sir Mortimer Chris
Richard Wilson - Nigel Lipman

“- Nigel: I have a secret, Selena.
- Selena: How exciting for you, Nigel. Best write it down before you forget it.”
Peter Cook - Nigel
Faye Dunaway - Selena

“Many say that unemployment is the result of government mismanging and underspending. Nothing can be further from the truth. We all know the real cause of unemployment, don't we gentlemen? Unemployment, in this country, is caused by pixies.”
Peter Cook - Sir Mortimer Chris

“- Yellowbeard: Dan, if you're my son, prove it. Kill this stupid old bugger!
- Lord Lambourn: Hold your horses...
- Dan: I can't kill him! He brought me up! Just like a father.
- Yellowbeard: Oh, you mean he's beat ya and kicked ya and smashed ya in the teeth?”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Yellowbeard
Peter Cook - Lord Lambourn
Martin Hewitt - Dan

“Having established the root cause of unemployment, we now need to come up with a job creation program. I have devised an idea that will create millions of new jobs within the first year of operation. Every week, five hundred working people jump off a cliff, thus creating five hundred new jobs.”
Peter Cook - Sir Mortimer Chris

“Santa Maya must be liberated by any means necessary. Even diplomacy if it should come to it.”
Peter Cook - Sir Mortimer Chris

“As I was personally indisposed at the hospital, the safety of the princess was in fact in the hands of my two cabinet men, Mr. Lipman and Mr. Kubert. They are both honourable men, and in the past twenty four hours each have handed in a written request to be publically crucified. And regrettably, I had to grant this request.”
Peter Cook - Sir Mortimer Chris

“- Selena: Get out of my house, Nigel, and don't come slithering back.
- Nigel: Listen, Selena, I'm the only one who can save you from yourself. You need me.
- Selena: Like an Eskimo needs a lawnmower, kiddo.
- Nigel: I'm warning you, Selena. Don't be so shortsighted.”
Faye Dunaway - Selena
Peter Cook - Nigel

“- Nigel: You girls are rank amateurs playing with fire.
- Selena: Because we own the matches.”

Peter Cook - Nigel
Faye Dunaway - Selena