“- Gord Brody: I'm looking for a David Davidson.
- Woman - Restaurant: I'm a woman.
- Gord Brody: Did I ask what sex you are?
- Woman - Restaurant: No.
- Gord Brody: Did I ask if you were David Davidson?
- Woman - Restaurant: My name is Cheryl.”
“I tend to sit around with my friends a lot and rant and rave about things I think are ridiculous in the world, and I tend to make fun of myself a lot.”
“Sometimes the funniest ideas just happen in the moment, when you're talking to people, or you notice something.”
“We all borrow and steal and copy from each other, and that's the way I think people get inspired.”
“- Elaine Warner: He's an asshole.
- Walter P. 'Duff' Duffy: Mmm... casserole.
- Elaine Warner: I said asshole.
- Walter P. 'Duff' Duffy: I heard casserole!”
“- John Plummer: Duff? Don't you think you're taking a little bit too much off the top?
- Walter P. 'Duff' Duffy: John, I know what I’m doing okay? I've got to taper it so the sunlight reaches the lower leaves during the growing season!
- John Plummer: What about that string there?
- Walter P. 'Duff' Duffy: The string is a guide John. It's just a...” (continue) (continue reading)
“- Jim Brody: Hey, what are ya doing in my scuba gear?
- Gord Brody: Look, I found a treasure.
- Jim Brody: That's a soap on a rope!
- Gord Brody: Shh, I'm pretending it's a treasure.”
“Daddy, we're in Pakistan. Let's sew some soccer balls.”
“- Betty: I'm gonna give you a blowjob.
- Gord Brody: Oh Betty. It's only our first date. Don't you think we should go do some romantic stuff first? Maybe take a walk in the park or something?”
“- Gord Brody: Why do you guys always have roast beef?
- Jim Brody: Boo-hoo. Little Lord Fauntleroy's tummy hurts because there's too much roast beef in it.
- Gord Brody: It's just boring.
[opens bag, pulls out a chicken sandwich]
- Gord Brody: I'm eating a chicken sandwich.”
“You can't hurt me, not with my cheese helmet!”
“- Walter P. 'Duff' Duffy: We should make up some fake names.
- John Plummer: Why?
- Walter P. 'Duff' Duffy: Just in case we have to communicate while we're inside.
- John Plummer: Ok.
- Walter P. 'Duff' Duffy: I wanna be Kyle. I knew this guy at camp. He was maybe 13. He got two girls pregnant, man. Two girls pregnant. Yea, Kyle.”
“Unleash the fury!”
“- Gord Brody: Fuck you, dad.
- Jim Brody: Fuck me? Is that what you wanna do?
[drops his pants]
- Jim Brody: Well, go ahead, fuck me.”
“You can't have complaints there's not enough cheese in the cheese sandwiches. I mean, if there's no cheese in a cheese sandwich, that's basically just two slices of bread.”