Wanda Sykes quotes
“Your mom was probably pretty normal before she had you. But then you were born. And you didn't sleep for six months. So she didn't sleep for six months. And you refused to eat. And when you did eat, you would barf all over her clothes. And that made your Mom a little crazy. And then you fell off your bike and broke your arm. And then you got...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.”
“If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.”
“In this business, you get an opportunity, and you pounce on it.”
“- Sid: Hurry, Granny!
- Granny: Don’t you hurry me! I’ve been struck by lightning more times…
- [suddenly a lightning strikes her and she’s knocked down unconscious]
- Sid: Manny!
- [another lightning hits Granny and she stands up again as if nothing has happened]
- Granny: …than you’ve had hot breakfasts!”
“- Emily Middleton: Let's go out tonight. Hair, makeup, boobs... we're going out!
- Linda Middleton: Emily, I am not going out at night.
- Emily Middleton: Everything shouldn't be so scary.
- Ruth: Oh, it damn well should. One in four tourists are kidnapped.
- Emily Middleton: Not true.
- Ruth: One, two, three... Somebody's missing.”
“That plan is so dumb I wish it had a face so I could smack it.”
“Fix your hair. You look like a damn cockatoo.”
“I think you dislocated my vagina.”
“If that comes out your front, I don't even want to know what's coming out the back.”
“- Viola Fields: That slut is practically throwing herself on him!
- Ruby: I don't blame her, that boy's one fine piece of ass!”