Bobcat Goldthwait quotes
“If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.”
“Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.”
“- Wild Writer: What if the wife smashes him over the head, with a frying pan, and then chops him up into hundreds of tiny pieces with her shiny new carving knife?
- Father Writer: No, I don't think so.
- Son Writer: It's a family show!
- Wild Writer: Okay, then what if she does it to the whole family?”
“- 1st Party Dad: Are you the clown?
- Shakes the Clown: No, I'm Mary fuckin' Poppins.”
“- Zed: People just don't understand me.
- Laura: Maybe if you talk slower...
- Zed: No, I mean who I am. Man, now I gotta worry about my diction too?”
“America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.”
“You silent motherfuckers!”
- Egg Stork: Let me tell you a little story. A story about a little fat kid who everybody made fun of, and nobody liked and he had a twin brother, and everybody said he never looked like his twin brother, but he wanted to...
- Ack Ack Raymond: Egg, where you that little boy?
- Egg Stork: No! No! But I used to beat the shit out him! "Why are you... (continue)(continue reading)
- Hades: So you took care of him? "Dead as a doornail", weren't those your exact words?
- Pain: This might be a different Hercules.
- Panic: Yeah! I mean, Hercules is a very popularname nowadays!
- Pain: Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany?
“Gene, Gene made a machine, and Joe, Joe made it go. Art, Art blew a fart and blew the whole damn thing apart.”