“- Eddie Hall: I don't understand how anybody can live at the beach. Those waves crashing and flopping all the time - drive me crazy.
- Arthur Relyea: I'm with you, Eddie. I like the sound of traffic when I'm sleeping.”
“- Nice Guy Eddie: Mr. Blonde was gonna kill you, then when we got back, he was going kill us, take the satchel of diamonds, and scram. I'm right about that, right? That's correct? That's your story?
- Mr. Orange: I swear on my mother's eternal soul that's what happened.
- Nice Guy Eddie: The man you just killed was just released from prison. He...” (continue) (continue reading)
“- Regina: People in California generally swallow before they start talking.
- Floyd: Hey. I know how to eat in California, okay?”
“- Floyd: That's her, that's the dog.
- Regina: Dogs don't knock, Floyd.”
“Yeah! Drop him like a toilet seat, Tommy!”
“- Burt: I want him, I want his balls!
- Travis Brickley: Yeah, I thought you were missing a pair, asshole!”
“- Nice Guy Eddie: The chick got tired of him beatin' her so one night she walks in the guys bedroom and super glues his dick to his belly. Ambulance came and had to cut the prick loose.
- Mr. White: Was he all pissed off?
- Nice Guy Eddie: How would you feel if every time you had to take a piss you had to do a fuckin' hand stand?”
“If you fucking beat this prick long enough, he'll tell you he started the goddamn Chicago fire, now that don't necessarily make it fucking so!”
“- Nice Guy Eddie: Larry, we have been friends, and you respect my dad, and I respect you, but I will put fucking bullets right through your heart. You put that fuckin' gun down, now.
- Mr. White: Goddamn you, Joe. Don't make me do this.
- Nice Guy Eddie: Larry, stop pointing that fuckin' gun at my dad!”
“You shouldn't block with your face.”
“- Ren: You like Men at Work?
- Willard: Which man?
- Ren: Men at Work.
- Willard: Well where do they work?
- Ren: No, they don't, they're a music group.
- Willard: Well what do they call themselves?
- Ren: Oh no! What about the Police?
- Willard: What about 'em?
- Ren: You ever heard them?
- Willard: No, but I seen them.
- Ren: Where, in...” (continue) (continue reading)
“- Boris: Call me an ambulance. Somebody, call me an ambulance.
- Nicky Dimes: Shut up.
- Boris: Fuck you, I'm bleeding.
- Nicky Dimes: I'll call you a hearse.”
14| From the movie: To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar |
- Vida: Sheriff Dullard.
- Sheriff Dollard: It's Dollard... with an "o".
- Vida: Well, it says "Dullard" on your badge.
- Sheriff Dollard: It's a misprint!
“- Mr. Pink: But this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job.
- Mr. Blue: Hey, our girl was nice.
- Mr. Pink: She was okay. She wasn't anything special.
- Mr. Blue: What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick?
- Nice Guy Eddie: I'd go over twelve percent for that.”
“You know what I learned about the world? You do unto others, you eat what you kill and that's what life is.”
18| From the movie: To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar |
“- Farmer: I can tell you one thing about them founding fathers of America.
- Sheriff Dollard: What's that?
- Farmer: They sure had fabulous wigs.”
“- Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
- Mr. Pink: Don't give me that. If she don't make enough money she can quit.
- Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you don't ever tip?
- Mr. Pink: I don't tip because society says I have to. All right, if someone...” (continue) (continue reading)