Harvey Forbes Fierstein quotes
“If you have an I.Q. of over 30, then there is no God.”
“There's one more thing you better understand. I have taught myself to sew, cook, fix plumbing, build furniture - I can even pat myself on the back when necessary - all so I don't have to ask anyone for anything. There's nothing I need from anyone except for love and respect and anyone who can't give me those two things has no place in my life.”
“- Arnold Beckoff: Ma... I miss him.
- Ma Beckoff: Give yourself time, Arnold. It gets better... But, Arnold, it never goes away. You can work longer hours, adopt a son, fight with me, whatever... it'll still be there. But that's all right, it becomes a part of you, like learning to wear a ring or a pair of eyeglasses. You get used to it. And...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Marty Gilbert: A countdown... wait, a countdown to what David?
- David Levinson: It's like in chess: First, you strategically position your pieces and when the timing is right you strike. They're using this signal to syncronize their efforts and in 5 hours the countdown will be over.
- Marty Gilbert: And then what?
- David Levinson:...” (continue)(continue reading)
“He's working on a vehicle for Helen for next season. She plays Jesus' mother. It's a whole Oedipul thing. He loves her... wants to do in the father... well you can see the complications.”
It kills me to know that they look at me and all they can think is, "Where did we go wrong?".
“I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy.”
“- Arnold Beckoff: I know you'll find this hard to comprehend, but I want more out of life than meeting a pretty face and sitting down on it.
- Murray: Graphically put!”
- Helen Sinclair: I do plays put on by Balasco, or Sam Harris, not some Yiddish pant salesman turned producer. My ex-husband used to say, "If you're gonna go down, go down with the best of them".
- Sid Loomis: Which ex-husband?
- Helen Sinclair: Oh, I don't know which ex-husband. The one with the moustache.
“- Bernie Whitlock: What are you looking for? We're all looking for something.
- Gilbert Rolfe: You're not going to believe me. I'm looking for Greta Garbo.”
“- Bertha Venation: Personally, I never enjoy sex with someone I know.
- Arnold Beckoff: Our Lady of High Standards!”
“- Arnold Beckoff: Do you ever think before you speak?
- Alan Simon: No. Why? Do you?
- Arnold Beckoff: Frequently. It helps to pass the time while you're speaking.”
“At 13 I knew everything. Senility set in sometime after that.”
“- Arnold Beckoff: Try and imagine the world the other way around. Imagine every book, every magazine, every TVshow, every movie was telling you you should be homosexual. You know you're not, but...
- Ma Beckoff: Stop already, you're talking crazy.
- Arnold Beckoff: You wanna know what's crazy? After all these years I'm still sitting here trying...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Let's get one thing straight first. A: I want children and B: if anyone asks: I'm the pretty one.”
“You want to be a part of my life, I'm not editing out the things you don't like!”
- Ed Reese: Whoops.
- Arnold Beckoff: Whoops? Ed, did you say "whoops"? No, Ed. "Whoops" is when you fall down an elevator shaft. "Whoops" is when you skinny-dip in a school of piranha. "Whoops" is when you accidentally douche with Drano! No, Ed. This was no "whoops." This was an "Aha-ha-ha-ha"!