Bruce Campbell quotes
- Duke Henry the Red: You Sir, are not one of my vassals... who are you?
- Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: Who wants to know?
- Duke Henry the Red: I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples.
- Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two... (continue)(continue reading)
“- Wiseman: When you removed the book from the cradle, did you speak the words?
- Ash: Yeah, basically.
- Wiseman: Did you speak the exact words?
- Ash: Look, maybe I didn't say every single little tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah.”
“I know you're scared; we're all scared, but that doesn't mean we are cowards. We can take these skeletons, we can take them, with science.”
“Is there finally and really anything to life other than food, shit and sex?”
“I felt my pecker flutter once, like a pigeon havin' a heart attack, then lay back down and remain limp and still. Of course, these days even a flutter was kinda reassurin'.”
“- Ring Announcer: What's your name, kid?
- Peter Parker: The Human Spider.
- Ring Announcer: The Human Spider? That's it? That's the best you've got?
- Peter Parker: Yeah.
- Ring Announcer: Oh, that sucks. ...The sum of three-thousand dollars will be paid to... the terrifying... the deadly... the amazing Spider-Man!”
I had a wonderful girlfriend Linda. Together we drove to a small cabin in the mountains. It seems an archeologist had come to this remote place to translate and study his latest find: "Necronomiconexmortis". "The Book of the Dead". Bound in human flesh and inked in blood, this ancient Samarian text contained bizarre burial rights, funeral... (continue)(continue reading)
“- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Hey, what do you say we have some champagne, huh, baby?
- Linda: Sure.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: After all, I'm a man and you're a woman... at least last time I checked.”
“If you go to Hollywood, you've already sold out.”
“I see parody as another form of comedy.”
“Actors who say they can dive inside a character are either schizophrenic or lying.”
“Where'd my youth go? Why didn't fame hold off old age and death? Why the hell did I leave the fame in the first place and do I want it back, and could I have it back? And if I could, would it make any damned difference?”
“Always the questions. Never the answers. Always the hopes... never the fulfillments.”
- Elvis Presley: Now the two key words for tonight - "caution" and "flammable".
- Jack: Also "watch your ass".
“- Renaldo 'the Heel': Well, maybe I'm a heel.
- Vic Ajax: Maybe I'm a guy who hates heels.
- Renaldo 'the Heel': Maybe I'm a heel who hates guys who hate heels.”
- Callie: Why would you want to leave all that fame, Mr. Presley? All that money?
- Elvis Presley: I don't know. 'Cause they got old. The woman I loved, Priscilla, she was gone. The rest of the women... were just women. I mean, the music wasn't even mine anymore. Hell, I wasn't even me anymore, just this thing they made up. And my "friends"...... (continue)(continue reading)
“Taste my steel, you dog!”
“Distracts me? A beautiful woman lying naked in a bathtub? Where was I?”
“Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock,...” (continue)(continue reading)
- Old Woman: I'll swallow your soul!
- Ashley "Ash" J. Williams: Come get some.