- Sam: If I take one more step, it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been.
- Frodo: Come on, Sam. Remember what Bilbo used to say: "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to".
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1
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“Gazongas? I think he was saying he likes your cones.”
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- William "Billy" Tepper: Come on man, get up. We've gotta strike back or I'm going to look like a douche bag in front of the entire school.
- Joseph "Joey" Trotta: You were born looking like a douche bag.
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“- Dave: What's my mom screaming about?
- Link: She's bumed cause I snaked her last bagel.”
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“- Dave: He melted...
- Stoney: Dave, it wasn't meant to happen. Come on, I'll go buy you some Ho-Ho's.”
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“Mordor... the one place in Middle-Earth we don't want to see any closer, the one place we're trying to get to... is just where we can't get. Let's face it, Mr. Frodo. We're lost!”
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“- Kit McDermott: How do I look?
- Duncan McDermott: Like shit. Go get her.”
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“The sidekick business has been good to me.”
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“I don't want to play the fat guy or the friend for the rest of my life.”
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“I definitely loved going on stage, I loved the nervous feeling and the performance and the doing-ness of it. It always felt kind of natural and inevitable and logical.”
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“My diet is always terrible, unfortunately. I don't know moderation.”
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“This is the most beautiful sight these eyes have ever seen!”
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“Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It'll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they'll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields... and eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?”
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“- Frodo: I can see the Shire. The Brandywine River. Bag End. The Lights in the Party Tree.
- Sam: Rosie Cotton dancing. She had ribbons in her hair. If ever I were to marry someone, it would have been her. It would have been her.
- Frodo: I'm glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee, here at the end of all things.” -
“- Matt: David, going somewhere?
- David: Yea I got a date with your mom!” -
“Yeah Luke, why go back to the daily grind of being a lifeguard? Take it easy!”
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“Great, the school gets taken over by terrorists and I'm still on pots and pans.”
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“Lois, I'm hurting. I am burning. I have this erection. It is so big it's like one of those Thanksgiving Day balloons. If I don't do something about it soon - bang! - I'll be left without a dick for the rest of my life! I'm only seventeen!”
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“- Duncan McDermott: This is serious. I mean, half of the world is going around saying something to the other half and they don't even know it's a compliment. I mean, my God, this is a linguistic breakthrough!
- Kit McDermott: Danger. Philosopher crossing over here.” -
- William "Billy" Tepper: They're going to shoot five kids if I don't go back.
- Military Officer: They're going to shoot you if you do go back.
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“- Dave: I mean it's not enough, I want my own page in the yearbook.
- Stoney: Jump off the gym splatter on the street and go for the co-ver.
- Dave: That's not funny, I am not going down as some geek kid from Encino. When I finish this pool I am going to have the killer party after the prom, I am going to be prom king, and I am going to...” (continue) (continue reading)
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"Fuck you" isn't such a bad thing to say to somebody. I mean, it's kind of sweet. It's like saying, "I love you", only it's more... hip.
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“I think the blindness is an allergic reaction to the cat and all the tea you've been drinking...”
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“- Frodo: I can't recall the taste of food... nor the sound of water... nor the touch of grass. I'm... naked in the dark, with nothing, no veil between me... and the wheel of fire! I can see him... with my waking eyes!
- Sam: Then let us be rid of it... once and for all! Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you!”
Highlights