Hank Azaria quotes
“- Armand Goldman: Agador, you're gonna have to get yourself a uniform and dress like a butler.
- Agador: No! I'm gonna look like a fag!
- Armand Goldman: Maybe, but you'll look like a fag in a uniform.”
“- Mr. Furious: Seems there was a little controversy there regarding your father's death.
- The Bowler: Yes, the police said he fell down an elevator shaft. Onto some bullets.
- The Blue Raja: You know, I've alwas suspected a bit of foul play there.
- The Bowler: As have I.”
“- Morrie Schwartz: My father was afraid of love. He couldn't give it and he couldn't receive it either. Maybe that's worse.
- Mitch Albom: Morrie, Morrie, we should stop.
- Morrie Schwartz: Not letting ourselves be loved because we're too afraid of giving ourselves to someone we might lose.”
“- Russ Cargill: I was tricked by an idiot!
- Cletus: Hey, I know how you feel; I was beat in tic-tac-toe by a chicken.”
“- The Blue Raja: Am I to understand you've inserted your father's skull inside of that ball for bowling?
- The Bowler: No, the guy at the pro shop did it.”
“- Bart Simpson: Dad!
- Homer Simpson: What seems to be the problem, officers?
- Bart Simpson: Tell them you dared me to do it!
- Chief Wiggum: If that's true, then you should be taking the raphere, not your son.
- Homer Simpson: And what happens to me if it's my fault?
- Chief Wiggum: You'll have to attend a one hour parenting class.
- Homer...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Guys will definitely settle for women who get the joke. But a woman who can make you laugh? It's not high on a guy's must list.”
“There's no experience like on-the-job training.”
“I've spent my entire life doing nothing but collecting comic books... and now there's only time to say... life well spent!”
“- Marge Simpson: Homer, you have to go out there, face that mob, and apologize for what you did.
- Homer Simpson: I would, but I'm afraid if I open the door, they'll take all of you!
- Carl: No we won't. We just want Homer!
- Homer Simpson: Well, maybe not you, but they'll kill Grandpa!
- Grampa: I'm part of the mob!”
“- Agador: My father was the shaman of his tribe and my mother was the high priestess.
- Armand Goldman: So why the hell did they move to New Jersey?
- Agador: I don't know, they're so stupid.”
“- Moe: What are you telling us, were trapped like rats?
- Russ Cargill: No, rats can't be trapped this easily, you're trapped like... carrots.”
- Morrie Schwartz: Yes, it scares you. All this does. Everything we're talking about... death, dying.
- Mitch Albom: There is a reason why people don't talk about these things.
- Morrie Schwartz: Hmm?
- Mitch Albom: To spare people's feelings.
- Morrie Schwartz: "To spare people's feel..." I never have understood that. How can you spare... (continue)(continue reading)
“- Armand Goldman: Ugh, what is this, sludge?
- Agador: Yes, it's sludge; I thought it'd make a nice change from coffee.”
“- Carter: Do you know that you're acting exactly like Malcolm?
- Jack Marsden: What's wrong with that?
- Carter: Nothing. It's just kind of creepy.
- Jack Marsden: If I'm acting like Malcolm at all, you should be grateful.
- Carter: Well, Malcolm got himself killed.”