Gene Wilder quotes
“- Ransom: What's your connection with Janet Dunn?
- Michael Jordon: She's my brother.”
“- George: I want to know everything about you and I'd like you to know all about me, too. Because we might just find out that we have a heck of a lot in common.
- Elaine: What? What? What could we have in common?
- George: Basil! I love basil. You like basil, Elaine?
- Elaine: It doesn't sweep me off my feet.”
“Don't you judge people by their appearance.”
“- Bart: A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to die.
- Jim: [eagerly] When?”
“- George: Be kind to your web-footed friends, for a duck maybe somebody's mother...
- Eddie Dash: Would you knock it off with the web-footed friends shit?”
“- Dave: You swear an awful lot.
- Wally: You're fucking-A right!”
“- Avram: Tommy, I'm not a rabbi.
- Tommy: Don't say that! You are a rabbi. I'm a bank robber. I'm a card player and a whoremonger. That's what I am. You are a rabbi. You can fall in the mud, you can slip on your ass, you can travel in the wrong direction. But even on your ass, even in the mud, even if you go in the wrong direction for a little...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Elaine, I am not your husband. I am... a Volvo Salesman.”
“- Waiter: He hates the coffee!
- Duffy Bergman: No, the coughing! I hate all the coughing!”
“- Willy Wonka: [making a mysterious formula] Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.
- Mrs. Teevee: That's 105%!”
“- Skip Donahue: You want to know something that's always fascinated me? Are the prisonromances that sometimes spring up between inmates and girls from the outside. Sometimes quite beautiful girls. I mean, would you, for example... could you actually become involved, I mean, romantically, with a prisoner?
- Meredith: Absolutely not.
- Skip...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Tommy: What do you call this in Jewish?
- Avram: A tuchas.
- Tommy: Well, you keep your eyes on this took-iss, and don't take them off 'till I tell you!”
“- Charlotte: How old is that suit?
- Teddy Pierce: This? I don't know. Six. Seven. Eight years, maybe.
- Charlotte: It looks it.”
“I want to get out of this place! Let's go some place! We can just head out west. We could grab odd jobs along the way. Build up a wonderful little nest egg. And then head for Hollywood! That's the place for you and me! Picture it, Harry. Harry and Skip in the Sunbelt. Out there, in the Sunbelt, you just smile and they pour money out on you. And...” (continue)(continue reading)
- Skip Donahue: My name is Skip Donahue. I'm a playwright and I saw you do a scene from "Romeo and Juliet" at the Wilson Workshop. I want you to know that you were wonderful. I'm not just saying it to be kind. You were really lovely.
- Susan: If you don't get out of my way, I'm going to kick you in the nuts!
- Skip Donahue: Kick! In the nuts!... (continue)(continue reading)
Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "reach for it, mister"! I spun around... and there I was, face to face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle... and I've... (continue)(continue reading)
“A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.”