Steve Martin movie quotes

Steve Martin movie quotes, phrases and lines
255 in english
Steve Martin quotes
  • “- Dixie: Want anything? A drink?
    - C.D. Bales: Yeah, but if I ask for another one, give it to me.”

    Shelley Duvall - Dixie
    Steve Martin - C. D. Bales
    [Tag:drinking]
  • “Let us just say I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.”
    Steve Martin - Harris K. Telemacher
  • Just remember that in every pothole there is hope. Well, you see, pothole is spelled P-O-T-H-O-L-E. So if you take the P, and add it to the H, the O, and the E, and rearrange the letters... or contrariwise, you remove the O, T, and the L, you get "hope". So, just remember, in every pothole there is hope!
    Steve Martin - Philip
    [Tag:hope]
  • “- Tom Baker: You were checking me out, weren't you?
    - Kate Baker: Yes, I was. You got a problem with that?
    - Tom Baker: Twelve kids later and we still got the heat.”

    Steve Martin - Tom Baker
    Bonnie Hunt - Kate Baker
    [Tag:children, like, love]
  • “You know what your problem is? You're always talking about X. But you're thinking about Y. You gotta learn to talk about Y. Forget about X. X is gonna take care of itself.”

    Steve Martin - Davis
    [Tag:talking, thinking]
  • “- Jack: Don't be so broken up about Danielle. She already dumped Raul, you know.
    - Larry: She has?
    - Jack: Yeah, she's living with a rock group now.”

    Steve Lawrence - Jack
    Steve Martin - Larry
  • “- Neal Page: You're a thief!
    - New York Lawyer: Close, I'm an attorney.”

    Steve Martin - Neal Page
    Nicholas Wyman - New York Lawyer
    [Tag:lawyers, thieves]
  • “I have waited a long time to prove myself, and now I have been given the opportunity of a lifetime. I intend to show the world exactly who I am and what I can do. I must not fail.”
    Steve Martin - Clouseau
  • There's something I want to say that's always been very difficult for me to say: "I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit". There. I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to say that.
    Steve Martin - Navin
  • “- Juliet Forrest: What are you doing?
    - Rigby Reardon: Adjusting your breasts. You fainted and they... shifted all outta whack. There.
    - Juliet Forrest: Thank you.
    - Rigby Reardon: You're welcome.”

    Rachel Ward - Juliet Forrest
    Steve Martin - Rigby Reardon
    [Tag:breast]
  • “- Edwina Cutwater: Hmm, we seem to have mutual control over our body.
    - Roger Cobb: Our body? This is my body! I'm not sharing my body with anyone!”

    Lily Tomlin - Edwina Cutwater
    Steve Martin - Roger Cobb
    [Tag:body, control, sharing]
  • “- Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: I thought you were dead.
    - Billy Sparrow: That was the general idea.”

    Steve Martin - Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli
    William Hickey - Billy Sparrow
  • “- Tina Shenk: Is Jake your only child?
    - Kate Baker: Oh no. We have 12.
    - Tom Baker: I couldn't keep her off of me.”

    Paula Marshall - Tina Shenk
    Bonnie Hunt - Kate Baker
    Steve Martin - Tom Baker
    [Tag:children, sex]
  • “He hates these cans. Stay away from the cans.”

    Steve Martin - Navin
    [Tag:hatred, killing]
  • “- Navin: Are you a model?
    - Marie: No. I'm a cosmetologist.
    - Navin: Really? A cosmetologist? That's unbelievable. That's impressive. Must be tough handling the weightlessness.”

    Steve Martin - Navin
    Bernadette Peters - Marie
    [Tag:job]
  • Sitting there at that moment I thought of something else Shakespeare said. He said: "Hey, life is pretty stupid, with lots of hubbub to keep you busy, but really not amounting to much”. Of course I'm paraphrasing: "Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing”.
    Steve Martin - Harris K. Telemacher
    [Tag:life, writers]
  • “- Roxanne: You even got me in bed.
    - C.D. Bales: Yeah. Yeah, what about that? You went to bed with him on your first date.
    - Roxanne: Only because you seduced me. I would have never gone to bed with him otherwise.
    - C.D. Bales: You still went to bed with him awfully fast! A few frilly words and you're counting ceilling tiles.
    - Roxanne: I don't...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Daryl Hannah - Roxanne
    Steve Martin - C. D. Bales
    [Tag:date, seduction, sex]
  • “There's so much rage going around we're damn lucky we have the movies to help us vent it.”
    Steve Martin - Davis
    [Tag:helping, movie, rage]
  • “Lord loves a workin' man. Don't trust whitey. See a doctor and get rid of it.”

    Steve Martin - Navin
    [Tag:god, trust, wisdom]
  • “- Lorraine Baker: You know how I feel about camping.
    - Tom Baker: But, we're staying in a house.
    - Lorraine Baker: A house with no air conditioning. That makes it camping.”

    Hilary Duff - Lorraine Baker
    Steve Martin - Tom Baker
    [Tag:comfort, holidays]
  • “I gotta keep telling the truth, even if it scares the shit out of me, like it scares the shit out of you. Even if it means some motherfucker can blow a big hole in my leg for a watch, and I'm gonna walk with a fucking limp for the rest of my life and call myself lucky.”

    Steve Martin - Davis
    [Tag:danger, honesty, truth]
  • “- Little Girl: Sounds like a subdural hematoma to me.
    - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Oh, it does, does it? Well, it's not your job to diagnose.
    - Little Girl: But I thought...
    - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: You thought, you thought. Just go. Three years of nursery school and you think you know it all. Well, you're still wet behind the ears. It's not a...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Mya Stark - Little Girl
    Steve Martin - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr
    [Tag:health, knowledge]
  • “I'm not really jogging. I only ran about fifty yards. This is not real sweat, either. I sprayed it on. They sell this at sporting goods stores. It's made from the actual sweat of professional athletes. This was taken from a Boston Celtics basketball player immediately after a double overtime game.”

    Steve Martin - Larry
    [Tag:exercise, sport]
  • “A woman is like a slingshot. The greater the resistance, the further you can get with her.”
    Steve Martin - Jonas
    [Tag:flirting, women]
  • “- Navin: I've already given away eight pencils, two hoola dolls, and an ashtray, and I've only taken in fifteen dollars.
    - Frosty: Navin, you have taken in fifteen dollars and given away fifty cents worth of crap, which gives us a net profit of fourteen dollars and fifty cents.”

    Steve Martin - Navin
    Dick O'Neill - Frosty
    [Tag:money, profit]
Highlights