Steve Martin movie quotes

Steve Martin movie quotes, phrases and lines
254 in english
Steve Martin quotes
  • - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Would you read that back to me? I'm afraid that might make me sound pompous to your readers.
    - Olsen: "My brilliant research in brain transplantation is unsurpassed, and will probably make my name live beyond eternity".
    - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Well, that's all right. Take out the "probably". It makes me sound... (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Steve Martin - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr
    Francis X. McCarthy - Olsen
  • “- Iris: I'm crazy about you Larry.
    - Larry: I'm crazy about you too Iris.”

    Judith Ivey - Iris
    Steve Martin - Larry
  • “- Chris: What am I afraid of her for? She's no rocket scientist.
    - C.D. Bales: Well, actually, she is a rocket scientist.”

    Rick Rossovich - Chris
    Steve Martin - C. D. Bales
    [Tag:fear, girl, scientists]
  • “- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: I can't inject you with window cleaner.
    - Fran: I don't mind. Hey, what does it do anyway?
    - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: It causes your brain to die last.
    - Fran: I don't mind.”

    Steve Martin - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr
    Randi Brooks - Fran
    [Tag:death, risk]
  • We could sell this house in a second. It's the “Leave It to Beaver” house that everybody wants.
    Steve Martin - George Banks
  • “- Juliet Forrest: Sometimes I feel I would like to...
    - Rigby Reardon: You'd like to what? Kiss me? Yeah, that would be nice. It would give me a chance to tell her I was starting to feel something for her, too. Something warm and squishy. But how could I explain that a man in my business can't take on a wife, have a bunch of kids?
    - Juliet...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Rachel Ward - Juliet Forrest
    Steve Martin - Rigby Reardon
    [Tag:feeling, kiss, regret]
  • “- Becky Metcalf: I didn't want to marry a dreamer. I'm not that brave. But when I see you through Gwen's eyes you look very different to me.
    - Newton Davis: How?
    - Becky Metcalf: Well, I could see how a dreamer, with somebody who believes in him, could do great things.”

    Dana Delany - Becky
    Steve Martin - Davis
  • “- Dolores: By the way, I fired Ramon yesterday.
    - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Ramon? Ramon is such a fine man. What did he do?
    - Dolores: He came up behind me and he grabbed my breasts.
    - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: What? I haven't even done that yet.”

    Kathleen Turner - Dolores Benedict
    Steve Martin - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr
    [Tag:breast, layoff]
  • - Navin: Why are you crying? And why are you wearing that old dress?
    - Marie: Because I just heard a song on the radio that reminded me of the way we were.
    - Navin: What was it?
    - Marie: "The way we were".

    Steve Martin - Navin
    Bernadette Peters - Marie
  • “I run a showhere. It's a lot of smoke and noise and it's strictly for the suckers. I've been pulling one kind of scam or another since I was your age, and if there's one thing I know it's how to spot the genuine article because that's what you've got to watch out for.”
    Steve Martin - Jonas
    [Tag:ability, fraud]
  • “- Newton Davis: It's not a marriage! It is a simple arrangement in which I will share my house with her and in exchange for which she will argue with me in public and generally make my life incredibly terrible.
    - Marty: That's marriage.”

    Steve Martin - Davis
    Peter MacNicol - Marty
  • “- George Banks: You look like you're enjoying seeing me in here.
    - Nina Banks: Enjoying? Do you think it's enjoyable to get a phone call telling you to come down to the police station because your husband's been arrested for stealing hot dog buns?”

    Steve Martin - George Banks
    Diane Keaton - Nina Banks
  • - "Handsome"(in "Suspicion") : You don't smoke, do you?
    - Rigby Reardon: No, I have tuberculosis.
    - "Handsome"(in "Suspicion") : Oh, thank heaven for that.

    Cary Grant - "Handsome"(in "Suspicion")
    Steve Martin - Rigby Reardon
    [Tag:disease, smoking]
  • “- Larry: Oh, I hate these places. Don't you? It's like, most of these guys are just here for one thing. I guess I want to meet someone I can talk to, just get to know. And go to dinners with, and museums, art galleries. I think what I'm looking for is more of a real relationship.
    - Girl in Bar: Oh, that's great, Larry. But I just came here to...” (continue)
    (continue reading)

    Steve Martin - Larry
    Leslie Wing - Girl in Bar
  • “- Warren: I don't like to take naps. I don't like to wake up more than once a day. Because when I first wake up I get that shock of who I am and everything. I really don't like to do that more than once a day.
    - Larry: Ya.”

    Charles Grodin - Warren
    Steve Martin - Larry
  • “- Navin: Do you think it's possible that someday, you could make love with me and think of him?
    - Marie: Who knows, maybe you and he could make love and you could think of me.
    - Navin: I'd just be happy to be in there somewhere.”

    Steve Martin - Navin
    Bernadette Peters - Marie
  • “Hey, let's have five. Let's have six. Let's have a dozen and pretend they're donuts!”

    Steve Martin - Gil
  • “- Larry:I don't have anything in my place, I just left with a suitcase. I lost my comb. This morning, I had to brush my hair with my toothbrush. I mean, I cleaned it out really good so I feel more comfortable, but it takes about twenty minutes. Does it look okay?
    - Warren: No, it looks good, I was just thinking about how good it looks.
    - Larry:...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Steve Martin - Larry
    Charles Grodin - Warren
  • “Do you know what your problem is? You live here. You're jaded. What you need is an outsider. In the last 24 hours I have experienced more in this city that most people who have lived here their whole lives! I climbed to the top of a luxury hotel! Not in the elevator! On the actual hotel itself! And then I love with my wife all over...” (continue)(continue reading)

    Steve Martin - Henry Clark
  • “- Pfc. Wally Holbrook: I don't gamble.
    - Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko: Well, what is it you do do?
    - Pfc. Wally Holbrook: Permission to speak freely...
    - Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko: Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead!
    - Pfc. Wally Holbrook: I get up every morning and I get dressed to protect the American way of life.
    - Master Sergeant Ernest G....” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Daryl Mitchell - Pfc. Wally Holbrook
    Steve Martin - Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko
    [Tag:boredom, talking]
  • Never underestimate the power of belief, boy. With it, I've seen a mute sing "Hallelujah" and I've seen an old man get out of his wheelchair and dance. When you've got it, you've got the power of every ocean and every star right in your hand. Without it you've got nothing. Everyone you meet is just another sinner, and everywhere you go is just... (continue)(continue reading)
    Steve Martin - Jonas
    [Tag:belief, power]
  • “- Lawrence Jamieson: Do you ever have a single thought that originates from above the waist?
    - Freddy Benson: No!”

    Sir Michael Caine - Lawrence Jamieson
    Steve Martin - Freddy Benson
    [Tag:lust, sex, thinking]
  • “- Lost Baggage Clerk: Where are you staying in the Boston area?
    - Henry Clark: In the Boston area we are staying in New York.”

    William Duell - Lost Baggage Clerk
    Steve Martin - Henry Clark
    [Tag:new york, place]
  • “All I ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.”
    Steve Martin - Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko
    [Tag:reward, working]
  • “- Trudi: He said it's the first day of spring.
    - Harris K. Telemacher: Oh shit! Open season on the L.A. freeway!”

    Marilu Henner - Trudi
    Steve Martin - Harris K. Telemacher