Steve Martin quotes
“Always do business as if the person you're doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he's not, you can be pleasantly surprised.”
“This film is only for Madagascar and Iran, neither of which follow American copyright law.”
“- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Dolores, I am making a citizen's divorce.
- Dolores: What?
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: By the powers vested in me, I hereby declare our marriage null and void! E pluribus unum!”
“- C.D. Bales: Do you know the phrase carpe diem?
- Chris: It's, it's fish, fish bait, right?”
“Mount up! ... It means get on your horses.”
“We need a guy with a fabulous ass! And mine is the wrong color!”
"Soon the primal fire began to burn in Lady Hookstraten's body. Her hips twitched and trembled as each fireball from Oliver's powerful cannon erupted like molten lava into the quivering mouth of her ever-fluttering love purse".
“There's someone out there for everyone. Even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.”
“- Roger Cobb: What the hell are you doing in there?
- Edwina Cutwater: Oh God, don't you guys get enough laughs up there? What have I ever done to you?”
“- Georgey Sanderson: [reading an adult magazine] Dad, what's a rack?
- Peter Sanderson: It's a country.”
“- Inspector: You are playing God.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Somebody has to.”
“- C.D. Bales: You said you didn't want a coat!
- Roxanne: I was being ironic.
- C.D. Bales: Oh, ho, ho, irony! Oh, no, no, we don't get that here. See, uh, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a, a high priority. We haven't had any irony here since about, uh, '83, when I was the only practitioner of it. And I stopped...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Olsen: I appreciate you letting me observe that brain operation today.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: It would have been more complicated if it had needed one, but since you wanted to observe my technique...”
“- Harris K. Telemacher: So, I'll see you Sunday?
- Trudi: I got a shower Sunday.
- Harris K. Telemacher: Oh yeah, and I really should take a bath... Monday?”