Eddie Murphy quotes
“- Jason: You're losing your intelligence, sir.
- Sherman Klump: Yeah, I know. I can't even beat Molly and she's the dumbest hampster we got!”
“Does anyone have a mother that would hit you with a shoe? I had a mother that would throw a shoe at you at the drop of a dime. And fuck you up wherever she was aiming. So by the time I was like ten, my mother was like Clint Eastwood with a shoe.”
“You better have a spatula where we're going because my ass is frozen to this yak!”
“We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!”
“- Mr. Wong: Whale ho!
- Rasputia: Did somebody just call me a whale?
- Mr. Wong: Yeah! And a ho!”
“- Goldmouth: Maybe I oughta eat your cornbread.
- Rayford Gibson: Motherfucker, you can't have my cornbread. That's for damn sure. You try and take my cornbread, Killing Spree, Part 2 gon' begin up in here on your ass. You thinking about my cornbread, better get the taste out your mouth. That's for damn sure.”
“Let me tell you something, Jack. If shit was worth something, poor people would be born with no asshole.”
I have nightmares about gay people. I have this nightmare that I go to Hollywood, and find out Mr. T is a faggot. Really. And he'd be walking up to people going: "Hey boy, hey boy! Ya look mighty cute in them jeans. Now come on over here... and fuck me up the ass! C'mon. I'm gonna bend over now. Grrr! Aaahh! ".
“- Donkey: I don't feel any different. Do I look any different?
- Puss in Boots: You still look like an ass to me.”
“- Josh Kovacs: To get in the building, we have to avoid seven exterior cameras and six doormen who work at two entrance points in rotating shifts. Once inside, we'll be faced with four security officers who monitor a bank of twelve internal cameras, as well as two security guards who vary the patrol route each day. If we make it through all that...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Norbit: Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday...
- Rasputia: Say Tuesday again you ain't gonna see Wednesday.”
“- Reggie Hammond: You got a lady, Cates?
- Jack Cates: Yeah.
- Reggie Hammond: You know, the generosity of women never ceases to amaze me.”
“Interesting. I've been stabbed, and I've been hanged, and I've been burned. Even broken on the rack once, but I've never been shot before. Kind of itches a little!”
“In some cultures, donkeys are revered as the smartest of animals.”
“- Shrek: Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
- Donkey: You both have layers. You know, not everybody like onions. Cake! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!
- Shrek: I don't care what everyone likes! Ogres are not like cakes.”
“- Charlie Hinton: Maybe we should just ask another question here.
- Jamie: Where do babies come from?
- Charlie Hinton: Y'know, why don't we go back to the dolphins, or something other than that?”
“Seventy-five years. That's how much time you get if you're lucky. Seventy-five years. Seventy-five Winters. Seventy-five Springtimes. Seventy-five Summers. And Seventy-five Autumns. When you look at it like that, it's not a lot of time, is it? Don't waste them. Get your head out of the rat race and forget about the superficial things that...” (continue)(continue reading)